Why Are We Surprised?

Today Samuel discusses the seemingly never ending challenges to recovery for both spouses.

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Keeping my focus on the goal

Thank you for this timely reminder. It is deeply appreciated. Sometimes the muck and the mire start to bog you down and it's encouraging to be reminded of the prize ahead. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that reconciliation isn't 'the prize' I need to keep my focus on, because, as I've already learned, people can, & will, fail you. You will fail yourself too. Inner peace is my focus, my goal.
To paraphrase this great book I've been reading- put God’s will first. Do what he wants you to do. Then everything else will fall into place. Don’t worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Just threw up

Yep I am one of the ones that had a horrible reaction to the words "best thing that ever happened to us". A few years down the road I might feel differently, but I strongly doubt it. Yes I like the closeness and honestly that has developed since we have done the recovery work and I like the marriage we are working to have now but there was a less painful road to get here. I guess some of my issue is that before Dday I knew our marriage was not all it could be and the harder I tried or pushed the more my husband withdrew until I just gave up and said well this is it this is all we will ever have. And yes I agree with the thing Rick says my husband did not want what he had until he stepped out and realized what he was loosing was what he really wanted all along. However I am not sure the emotional trama and aftermath of this will ever be worth what we are building now.
I to have been and am still angry at God. I trusted him to heal my mom. She died, protect my marriage, I was betrayed, to watch over my daughter and guide her decision, she is an unwed mother, and to preserve my family, it has been ripped to shreds. So I am slowly trying to restore my faith and trust in God.

Thank you for your blogs and your honesty in them.

throwing up...slm

slm, i get it. thank you for your honesty. it makes all the sense in the world you would feel what you're feeling. i'm terribly sorry for your pain and hurt and the angst you felt when listening to the blog. if i had been through what you've been through, i'm sure i'd feel that way too. but, again ,it's the middle of the journey. there will always have been a better way for sure. that's true for all of us. and right now, where you stand, you're facing so much and tackling so much, that it's almost unbearable. but, again, we just don't know how things will turn out. i totally agree that there could have been and there WAS a better, less painful road to get where you are at. that's a whole chapter of a book right there. ....but all is not over or lost right now. it's the middle if you will and we don't know what's going to turn out. God can handle your anger and your pain. he can handle the fact that you're struggling right now and he's not mad at you for it. he's not down on you for it either. it's a process and it's part of the timeline of your own personal healing and your own personal journey. thank you for watching and thank you for commenting. thank you also for the excellent feedback.

i really appreciate both comments

Being able to be authentic about where you are in the process is so very important. I appreciate the raw honesty. 16 months in to the recovery process i want to throw up as well at "the cost" of this so called better marriage we are working on.

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