The 4 Possible Outcomes of Great Suffering

Today Samuel shares insight from EMS Weekend as well as his own story about great suffering in recovery from infidelity.

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I am in the "stuck" position

I am in the "stuck" position and although the bitterness and resentment has lessened a great deal over the past 4 years, I cannot re-engage much with my unfaithful spouse. I cannot open up my heart to him. He thinks all is good because I'm a good pretender. I try not to rock the boat anymore. We live in separate bedrooms in the same house. We take vacations and do things together, but I remain guarded. We speak civilly to each other about superficial things but when I ask an affair question all hell breaks loose and he gets abusive. So I no longer ask. I'm know I haven't forgiven him or the AP because the 20 year affair/deception still consumes my thoughts daily and since Dday 1 in 2012 to this past April, I have been drip fed the truth. A truly significant detail that could adversely affect my health just emerged last April. As long as the hits keep coming, how does one move on? Could this be why I'm stuck and unable to truly forgive and be vulnerable with him? Sometimes I think I hold on to my suffering as a protection for when ( not if) he does it again...his actions show no remorse or regret, so I can't believe there will not be a next time....this whole situation sucks.

vlog idea

Thanks for this great vlog. My question is how does one remain kind, caring, and genuinely supportive and engaged whilst the other is in a victim rut. The victim wants to keep going back to situations 4 or more years ago. The victim needs to make choices to identify their victimhood and leave it behind. To stop blaming others.

Thanks for the great vlog and keep doing the great work

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