Life comes at you fast. Between pressures and responsibilities, obligations and duties, each day carries fluctuating odds on how long it takes to sometimes lose it. I hate to sound like a downer but lately there has been a good deal of pressure I’ve been walking through. Finding the balance to manage everything has taken some work for sure.

To those struggling with the effects of infidelity, each day is a long haul. For the betrayed it’s excruciating with reminders, triggers and confusion. The task of finding hope can seem exhausting in and of itself. Rising above the roaring waves of depression to simply care for kids, go to work, or care for your self can feel like a upward trek that has no end.

For the unfaithful, their journey is challenging in that it also feels endless and like they are continuously fighting uphill. Will it be this way forever? At the end of the climb, is there a life repaired and restored, or is it a new life, without their spouse and family and a plaguing reminder of how they failed? The confusion and perceived helplessness can suck the life out of you before you take your first deep breath in the morning.

We often times find ourselves fighting for the heart of our spouse. It’s gut wrenching when we try and fight to care for the condition of another’s heart. Quite honestly, we can’t. With children, we do our best and try to train them, love them and care for them, but with our spouse it’s radically different. We can’t control them or always see what they are feeling or experiencing or even doing behind the scenes. It’s frustrating as all get out to try to care for their heart and be met with opposition, indifference, or worse, outright defiance and resistance.

We’re left with the need to care for and fight for our own heart. What I’ve learned most recently is a deeper understanding of the nobility and necessity of fighting for the condition of my own heart in the face of an attack from life itself. My heart is my responsibility. Infidelity is traumatic and feels disabling. Nevertheless, my reaction is my choice and my approach to it is vital. Whether you’re betrayed or unfaithful, you must take up the cause of fighting for the condition of your own heart to ensure you are not imprisoned the rest of your life. Not by your spouse, or by challenges and pressures, but by the condition of your own heart which will build bars around itself if you’re not diligent to preserve its health, healing and clarity.