How to Not Lose Yourself When Saving Your Marriage after an Affair

When a spouse or partner has an affair, their next response is essential. Are they willing to do repair work? Are they willing to own what they need to own? Are they open to getting outside, expert help in an effort to see what they cannot see? It can be like walking a tightrope for either partner who is wanting to save the relationship, but isn't sure where the lines should be drawn to protect themselves, but also humble themselves and win back their partner. Unfaithful spouses can feel as though they are locked into a prison of punitive servitude for the remainder of the relationship. Betrayed spouses can feel like they will never measure up to the affair partner, and can feel a sense of anger, bitterness, and hurt for the remainder of the relationship. My friends, I am here to tell you that there is a better way. We can heal our relationships, while also maintaining our own personal identity, confidence and self-worth. Without our own healed and whole self-esteem, we can feel left for dead on the side of the road to healing. Today, you'll hear Samuel discuss how he has been able to not lose himself while also providing direction and hope for hurting people suffering in the aftermath of infidelity. He discusses how they can maintain their own self-love, while walking in humility and openness to their own need to do their own recovery work.

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"I just completed the Harboring Hope program. My husband was unfaithful to me emotionally, physically and sexually with a co-worker. What I wished I would've known is that forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. People who refuse to forgive can never live their own lives, they are too busy obsessing about the life of the one who hurt them. They are stuck. They are unable to enjoy friends, family or even their children. They imprison themselves in a bondage of their own making. I definitely recommend the Harboring Hope program as a support for healing. To be in a safe community with other women who know what you're going through and how you're feeling is comforting. Whether you're able to reconcile or not, there is hope." — M., Michigan | HH Participant, April 2021.

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-D, Texas