Survivors' Blog

Infidelity: This Just Sucks

Samuel gets pointed in today's video about the struggle to endure the consequences of infidelity and how to make it through to the other side of an affair.

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Infidelity sucks and sticks around like tar- tough work

Submitted by CK4UBTH on Wed, 04/20/2016 - 13:55

Vblog - topic came at a great time. Really hoping for AR to develope a return/ follow up EMS weekend or quarterly weekend. Where different challenges could be discussed for those that have completed all the AR programs available, but are still trying to get through the "sticky tar" that is left after infidelity. Almost like a refresher course.

I second this.

Submitted by momof2 on Wed, 04/20/2016 - 16:04

I second this.

SUCKS

Submitted by SLM on Fri, 04/22/2016 - 05:14

It does SUCK. All of it. There is just not a better word to describe everything that surrounds the destruction that comes from infidelity.

I love your blogs or vlogs or whatever they are called. But I wish just once you would say "if you don't subscribe to faith, you should." I don't know how in the world anyone gets through this without their faith. As the betrayed spouse I spent about a year mad at God and the only communication he got from me was how could you allow this to happen to me and my marriage, and then I would spend time praying for him to allow me out of my marriage. I felt like I was in prison, stuck. I too was an angry person. Mad at the situation, mad at God, hating my husband, resentful of the whole situation. But once I finally actually released it to God...the healing began. I don't even know how you survive this without God. I have found in speaking to people that the brokenness is often just what is needed for them to begin a relationship with God.

Just my thoughts. Thank you for all you do.

slm....

Submitted by Samuel on Mon, 04/25/2016 - 08:50

thank you for your comment. i get it and i can relate to you by all means. however, i get a good deal of feedback from those who are not christians and they really enjoy the vlogs. i don't ever want someone to feel ostracized or what have you due to their faith or lack there of in God, higher power, etc etc. i love your boldness and your faith. however, there is a large amount of those who watch and comment/email/ reach out who are not christians and still love the vlog and to me that's a win. so i hope you can understand the sensitivity i want to show to not isolate those in crisis but include them. we're all in progress ya know? thank you for watching and commenting. helping is what i so desperately want to do to everyone who has to walk down this difficult road.

faith

Submitted by Linda G. (not verified) on Fri, 05/20/2016 - 10:03

THANK YOU! I tire of people trying to convert me to their particular religion, telling me what I should believe.. I am perfectly comfortable with my spirituality, which by the way, is no one else's businsess. Everyone has the right to choose what to believe. I appreciate that you addressed this. Again, thank you.

Yes, thank you Samuel, for

Submitted by Winona (not verified) on Mon, 06/27/2016 - 12:31

Yes, thank you Samuel, for not insisiting on a religious faith to get through. My husband and I are not believers at all yet we are both seeking help for our recovery where we can. Your videos, and this site in general, have been a huge to me in recognizing where I am, where I need to be, how to shift perspective or to acknowledge that yes, I'm/we're doing this the best I/we can, and it's helping me understand my (unfaithful) husband's position better. I just skim over the parts that may mention god or faith. My faith is in the both of us making this work together.

Faith

Submitted by KPD (not verified) on Thu, 05/19/2016 - 14:49

Faith has helped me through my husband's infidelity. I posted a saying in my closet that I see everyday that says....from Proverbs....."Trust in the Lord with all your heart." There was a time when I felt that I was losing my faith and was in a very dark place. My husband resents seeing this saying and says I am just trying to remind him of his "wrong doings". He was all over going to church when the affairs were first discovered, but now is always too busy....doesn't like the time of service....always finds a reason not to go. I stayed because of the extreme financial devastation that I would have faced if I chose to divorce him...at age 60. I have worked for the past 10 years for a business we jointly own and can not retire yet. I am sad a lot.....deeply sad, but feel like I have no way out. Happy face and move on....right? All I can do is trust in God with all my heart. I am just so very, very tired. Due to years of domestic abuse.....which he finally did get counseling for....I was diagnosed with PTSD. Can't seem to shake it. It's like being on the battlefield and "sleeping with the enemy" even though the physical abuse has stopped. The affairs were just another form of abuse and control. A life at war and in pain. Don't know why my soul has to go through this or why God chose me to bear this particular burden, but I have to trust that there is a reason why I need to hurt. Infidelity does more than just Suck...it destroys families and people's lives.

Hi S. Does the unfaithful

Submitted by Jeanette (not verified) on Thu, 03/19/2020 - 08:02

Hi S. Does the unfaithful spouse experience any pain or trauma?

What type of affair was it?

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Comments

What type of affair was it?

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