Friends now look at me as if I did something to cause my husband's infidelity. They act like infidelity is contagious. I no longer have any real friends. I have isolated myself because I am so embarrassed by what he did. Shame follows me everywhere, even in the frequent nightmares I have. People judge me for staying in a marriage in which I was emotionally and physically abused and in which he deceived and cheated on me for 20 years. I feel like a big zero because my husband didn't think I was worth love and fidelity...and later on after discovery, honesty in full disclosure ( I was drip fed info over a 3 year period)...now I'm supposed to be over it and we are supposed to move on and let shame go. Exactly how do you let it go? It keeps reappearing with me....i just want to disappear from everything and start over somewhere new where nobody knows me and nobody knows that I was I unloved and apparently not worthy of fidelity and honesty in my husband's eyes. I wear shame like a dirty Tshirt ....and it has "Unworthy and Unloved" printed across the front...even when I'm "present", the shame is still there like a little dark cloud hovering over my head and following me around wherever I go.