Samuel Shares a Destructive Pattern Couples Fall into in Recovery Work

Samuel shares a few humorous stories about he and Samantha's recovery work after infidelity.

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THANK YOU!!!! In caps! We are 2 years out and these videos are so helpful. I love them all...but we aren’t quite in crisis or discovery mode anymore. These videos are such a help while we are in this in-between/ next phase of our journey. When we still have communication problems, we tend to think “oh great! Maybe this is the end, because we still haven’t got it all figured out yet”. So reassuring to see that it’s just life and that our recovery isn’t totally derailing!
Samuel and team!

so glad the videos help

thanks for sharing that my friend.  it's a journey for sure and i'm so honored to be on it with you all and be something of a voice to you.  really appreciate the great feedback.  thank you so much.



Thank you for posting the “dance” y’all do. It is nice to hear that eventually we will argue about other things. My husband and I are further out and don’t have the post d-day blow ups any longer, but still find ourselves stepping back into the unhealthy dance steps we established prior to, even with all the education and money we have spent learning better and more effective communication styles and patterns. Thanks for, first reminding us to be mindful of this sort of “relapse” pattern and second for allowing us to have a “O we are not the only ones moment”.

you're very welcome....

thanks for the encouragement.  i think i need to do more about these sorts of dances and issues that happen down the road after infidelity.


They would be greatly

They would be greatly appreciated! Your insights are so valuable

They would be greatly

They would be greatly appreciated! Your insights are so valuable

Yes, please do!

Yes, please do. We are a little over two years out so this video spoke to both of us. Plus, gave us a good laugh as we had just had a major disagreement a few days earlier where we played "find the bad guy". We do appreciate finding out we are fairly normal in this process.
Thanks Samuel!

I Second and Even Third My Agreement With Previous Comments!

We are well over the year mark and crisis mode of the trauma also and the previous few comments are copies of my appreciation for these videos (and every single video made since I found them a week after D-Day!!!!)

We still have those days that we fall into our habitual dance patterns, and when that happens I find myself thinking whether or not we are really “recovering” when we keep doing these dances... storming off from each other and raising voices and listing out what the other is doing to fail in keeping up connection. Hearing this assures me that it’s still normal, and that we can be imperfect while still working on ourselves (and I forgot to see our progress in the fact that we ARE slowly having aruguments about things like dishes and raising our daughter and NOT always about the infidelity.... this video caused me to realize how far we have truly gotten!)

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-D, Texas