Why Fixing Your Spouse Is Not the Answer to Healing from Infidelity

Samuel discusses a necessary paradigm shift if couples are going to heal from infidelity.

Add New Comment:

Comments

Timely and a Struggle

Samuel... I just got in trouble for this just now. My wife texted me, and I responded with a question. Instead of waiting the 10 minutes for her to respond, I jump to conclusion, decided on my own answer, fired back a text to her and some others, only to have completely missed read all of it, and now I writing this humbly with egg on my face.
Thanks man for posting this. I think part of my quick jump to an answer and fix it, is to stop my own shame and guilt I feel for not being enough? As in I have to fox and have an answer, cause I don't I'm lacking and a fraud and if she thinks I'm a fraud, then she won't ever love me again. Can you share your train of thinking when you jumped to response or conclusions?

Good and Hard to Hear

I am a BS about 6 months out from D-Day. I have always been the fixer type person. I don't like conflict but I really needed to hear this today. I just need to let things progress the way God wants them to. I cannot control my spouse but I can control how I act and respond to him. Sometimes you have to revert back to Mr. Rogers and just "stop and listen." Listening is a big part of recovery for both spouses. Not just hearing them. You have to really engage and listen, I admit I fail at this often and was part of our downfall before the affair occurred. It is a hard skill to keep using. Thank you, Samuel, for your video, I hope others will listen to it often!

thanks for commenting...

hi Laura, thanks so much for commenting and watching.  means so much.  glad it helped you.