Why we Didn't Divorce

Samuel share's why he and Samantha didn't divorce using humor and insight into what recovery principles saved their marriage.

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I think Samantha is my new hero. You, too, garner my praise for staying the course and working through your issues so that your marriage continues to thrive. Your story is inspiring.

Like Samantha, I had moments of extreme anger. One day I went out to simply "trim the hedges" about an hour into my landscaping foray, the hedges were all but gone entirely. I suppose there is some irony there; the hedges were gone and the foundation of my marriage was at zero. Finally what I thought was a place to start over, build new hedges and water the lawn "because the grass is greener where you water it".

One question for Samantha, has she been able to forgive her former friend, your AP? If so, can she offer any insight on how to do this or how long this process took?

forgiving the ap...

diana, thank you for your compliments and kind words of praise. fact is, forgiving the ap was hard and not an easy task at all. it took probably about 8 to 10 months easy to do that, and then there were several occasions over the next year or so, that had Samantha 'choosing' to forgive. it wasn't easy in the least bit & it was complicated as the ap wasn't in front of her asking for forgiveness or what not. samantha had to know in her heart it would kill her slowly if she held on to anger and resentment. her words were, "it was hard as hell....but i knew i had to and it was a choice, a matter of my will to align it with forgiveness or have huge a gaping hold of weakness in my heart if I didn't forgive her. i didn't want to. she didn't deserve my forgiveness.....but i knew it was for me to let go of justice I felt like she deserved.' samantha learned to show mercy and move forward as WE were more important ya know? it was hard at first, but now, looking back, samantha has left no stone unturned in terms of moving forward and cleansing her heart. hope all that helps you Diana.

Forgiving the ap

Thankyou. This has been amassive hurdle for me. The AP is indignant that she is accused of my husbands affair with her and is claiming absolute innocence of his "unwanted attention" Besides my husband, I am the only one who read her conversations with him before all evidence was deleted which has made dealing with this through the church very difficult. My husband lost his high profile job over this while she has walked away scott free without any visible consequence of her actions on my family and very much playing a victim. She is still in denial that she did anything wrong and so forgiveness is difficult to give. Forgiveness of all involved in this situation has been difficult.This gives me hope Samuel.

What type of affair was it?

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