Why We Run from the Consequences of Infidelity and Addiction

Samuel shares thoughts on why we would rather run from our pain than heal from it.

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Years of avoiding the consequences

Wow, this one is sure timely. On our 27th wedding anniversary my husband began to open a window of truth by telling me he had "found someone else" which turned out to be a result of a 6 year affair. That June 2014 was the beginning of multiple D-days as truth kept trickling up to as late as a couple of weeks ago. Yep, 5.5 years!! I was shocked, devastated and traumatized over and overe as more truth was revealed, but being the good christian wife - I forgave, stayed faithful and did everything within my power to rebuild trust and try to resore our relationship. Trust never came! I could not believe him. Years of lying to me had shredded my ability to believe him. I thought that something must be wrong with me. We have done so many Marriage Retreats, Intensives, and even EMSO. All of the programs have been wonderful. We have been seeing a great Therapist as well. So many thousands of dollars invested in trying to rebuild our marriage. Recently, our Therapist suggested I asked my husband to do a lie detector test - to help me try to establish a baseline of trust from an outside tool. He readily agreed which was encouraging, so I made the appointment. Turns out that the thought of a polygraph "smoke out a few more rats". Before the day of the appointment he shared some recent activity including the fact that he had continued to contact his AP two years after he had sworn that he cut it off. So now... all the timelines shift yet again! My heart gets shattered once again. But for the first time - we will NOT move forward without consequences!! I chased him when he was trying to get rid of me. I offered myself heart, body and soul to him unconditionally. I regret that deeply now. I was made a fool of so many times. I don't know what I am going to do, but it is going to be different, and I may end up by myself. He was given so much grace. So much love. So much forgiveness... I just couldn't offer him trust (for a very good reason). Not all stories end up with a happy ending. I don't know how mine is going to end. I am not sure WHAT Affair Recovery has done for my Unfaithful Husband. But it has been a Life-Line to me! Thank you! Robyn

Thank you for sharing. My

Thank you for sharing. My husband has been lying and cheating for 14 years and I have forgiven and extended grace so many times and I think it has been the worst mistake I have made. He has taken me for granted and I just asked him to move out. We signed up for the online course and I kid you not, days later I found out he was still cheating and pursuing another woman. He has NEVER confessed, I have always caught him. I do not think I should stay. I think I am going to move forward with the online course for my own healing, but I don't want to be with him anymore. He is literally sucking the life out of me and I've been sick for years.