This is another great insight. I am the betrayed and many times I want to respond but just don't. I really did not understand why I would feel all these positive emotions but not let them show. However since I guess he did not get the reaction he wanted my husband just shuts down and stops trying. I sometimes feel like because I did not toss him out he does not have to work as hard to woo me back. Physically yet I am still here. Emotional most of the time I am a million miles away.

Upon revelation of my husband's affair, I saw it as a spiritual battle that I was zealous to fight. He was so deceived, and even though my heart was devastated I didn't want to just give up on our marraige, our family, our ministry & testimony to others! My family and friends were very concerned about my sanity and my heart as I basically relentlessly pursued and wooed my husband back to me. About 6 mos. in to recovery his fog finally lifted and he realized what I had seen all along. Truth trickled out and my reality was worse than I had initially thought. What has been discouraging to me is that now that he is fully on board to save and rebuild our marriage... I have lost a lot of the fight and passion I had at first. My processing was a bit delayed and here 14 mos. in to recovery... "in many ways" I feel worse!!! I so appreciate your blog - and I am determined to stay the course... believing that eventually HEALING will come to both of us.

This was just what I needed. I'm the unfaithful spouse. I've had 2 2 week long online affairs, for which my husband forgave me and then 4 months later, he caught me in the beginning of another - this is now 3 weeks after the latest discovery. We've been married 20 years and I'm doing all I can to show him that I'm committed, honest, transparent and sincere. I've taken full responsibility and have deleted all social media. Currently he is ambivalent, which is a terrible state to be in. I've written him a HURT letter yesterday and update him throughout the day of what I'm busy with, although he says he doesn't care - I do it anyway. Every morning when he gets to work, I sent him a text, saying that I love him very much. He doesn't react and I understand that, but I was sitting outside now, feeling a bit hopeless because of his lack of response to my efforts, when I came across this video and it gave me renewed strength to go on and show him I love him, without wanting anything back. This site saved me and will propably help save my marriage. Thanks so much.