Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

Announcing NEW Infidelity Video Blog: Songs for the Soul

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In August of 2015, I was invited to Gateway Church for a reunion with past participants of the EMS program. To my delight, a married couple was leading worship together. My heart was deeply touched by their music.

Afterwards, I went up to introduce myself to those gifted musicians. After expressing my gratitude to Rodney and Angela, they shared their dream of using music to help others who are in recovery from infidelity. Five years later, I was thrilled when we were able to hire Rodney to join us at Affair Recovery. Since then, my heart's desire has been to find a way to incorporate their music to bless others. Faith is an important element in Rodney & Angela's story as it has been for many of our journeys and you'll get to see this played out in their videos.

Songs for the Soul is the culmination of our dream. I hope you experience the peace I experience when listening to their music.

To Healing,
Rick

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Transcript:

Rodney:
Hello my name is Rodney

Angela:
and I'm Angela

Rodney:
and this is what we call

Both:
Songs for the Soul

Rodney:
Yes. Now what is that?

Angela:
Well, the way I like to put it is Songs for the Soul is where our testimony meets our harmony.

Rodney:
Yes.

Angela:
To encourage couples and individuals who are overcoming infidelity.

Rodney:
Yes, we want to encourage you and help bring hope. We want to help channel hope to you through music.

Angela:
Absolutely. You know, we've experienced first hand what we call a tsunami of infidelity. And by the grace of God we've progressed and we've grown and developed and we've gone from sinking, Lord have mercy, to surviving. Just survival mode. Then finally it seemed like when we got involved with AR, finally started having some hope and healing.

Rodney:
Yes thank God for that.

Angela:
And recovery and growth and then maintaining what we learned. And now we're sharing what we learned and we're feeling like we're getting into a place of thriving personally and in our marriage. So we just want to spread that hope on your path and on your journey in your marriage individually. We're not perfect. We still have bumps along the way. But those tools that we have gained, we just want to share. We're lifelong musicians so we know that music can help with healing and with your heart and with your soul. Your mind. Your spirit. Even your body. You can move to it and dance. All of those types of things so we just want to share that with you.

Rodney:
Yes. That's what Songs for the Soul is all about. It's about channeling and piping in hope and help. And particularly as believers healing from God to our hearts and to our minds. So that's what we're gonna do and we're gonna start it up today. Episode 1.

Angela:
Yes. And speaking of that music and healing. We've got the song Healer today for Episode 1. And just talking about how music can help us heal from this pain of infidelity and how it's helped us and how it can help you hopefully and prayerfully as well.

Rodney:
Yes so enjoy Episode 1. Songs for the Soul. Healer. God bless you.

<Song: Healer>

Rodney:
Happy new year, everybody, happy new year! Welcome to 2022.

Angela:
Woohoo!

Rodney:
The fact that you are watching this means you made it into the new year, and we are just excited. We want to just make a deposit and an investment into you with that song, Healer. It meant so much to us, through our crisis, through our trauma, the infidelity, the pain, the hurt, through all of that, God has been our healer. And I remember us singing that song at one of our lowest moments.

Angela:
Yes.

Rodney:
And God gave that to us for hope and for healing and for what else?

Angela:
And we had sung it numerous times as worship leaders. But it took on a whole new meaning.

Rodney:
<laugh> yeah. After D-day-you all know what D-day means, right? That's the date of discovery or, that's the day of disclosure,

Angela:
Sometimes destruction.

Rodney:
<laugh> It feels like the day of death, but it can also be a day of deliverance. Day of daylight. Where the Lord rescues us. And we've been married now for 23 years. But this year, 2022, makes 24 years for us.

Angela:
Soon. Yes.

Rodney:
Yes, soon, this year will make 24 years for us. And we have, you'll see there a link to our story, our full story, where we go into some of the down and dirty <laugh> of what the Lord brought us through. But this here today is really something to shine some light and some hope and some healing. And to just infuse that into you early on in this new year.

Angela:
Yes. And to share how music helped us with our journey. That's-Songs for the Soul-that whole idea that, um, music can be a real tool. Even if you're not a musician, we still use music for so many things.

Rodney:
Right. Absolutely.

Angela:
And are musically inclined.

Rodney:
Yes. Music is all around us. All the shopping that we just did in December, <laugh> when we went to the shopping stores or all of that. Or if we're on hold on the phone, they have music playing. So, music is all around us in so many different ways. And we were created to respond to music. And so, Colossians 3:16 is a scripture that we hold very dear. It says, "Let the word of Christ dwell in us, richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in songs and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord." Now, that scripture is so important to us because it empowers us and lets us know that we are built for music and music to glorify God. And so, he tells us to use it for his glory.

Angela:
Yeah. And so, we just wanted to share this element of music with this community.

Rodney:
Yes, Songs for the soul. The soul sometimes just needs just light.

Angela:
<laugh> Just to be sung over.

Rodney:
Just to be sung over. Sing over me!

Angela:
Yeah.

Rodney:
So, we have a little acronym for MUSIC that talks, just, about how music has helped us and how, in Songs for the Soul, how music can help you and help us. M is for what?

Angela:
Memory.

Rodney:
Memory! So, music helps us with memory. It helps us with, it takes us back to maybe a time of joy, maybe before the infidelity. Um, maybe a time of, of, of peace, a childhood memory. It can take us back there. It can also help us to create new memories through the music; and the power of that is also that, um, it can help us to memorize God's word.

Angela:
Yes.

Rodney:
Which is really of the healing, um, is! We find healing in his word. And, um, so it helps us to really, um, memorize God's word and, and, um, brings back emotional recall, um, from just God's truth that he is trying to give to us. And so it can be real, real helpful there.

Angela:
Yeah. I think of also musing when I think of memory and music, and just what is playing in your mind? What tape is playing-not tape, that was a long time ago, but <laugh> what playlist-

Rodney:
Playlist. Okay.

Angela:
-is playing in your mind. Um, when the Bible talks about what sort of things are true and honest, just and pure, lovely, and of good report. If they're being virtue, if they're being praise, think on these things, think on these things and music was something that helped me to think on the right things and not to think on the wrong things.

Rodney:
Because it affects our mood.

Angela:
Absolutely.

Rodney:
You know, so M stands for all of that: Memory, it stands or Musing, it stands for Mood. It can help us with our mood. U for understanding.

Angela:
Understanding, yes.

Rodney:
So, music is designed to repeat things over and over again. Just like the song-we just said, "Jesus, you're all I need, yeah. Jesus, you're all I need. Jesus, you're all I need." All through the day, I mean, you could just add that.

Angela:
I feel like I need to hurt somebody. Nope, no, play it play: Jesus you're all I need!

Rodney:
Yes. So, I mean, music it's, it's designed to loop in our minds. So, it can really help us to understand God's truth, because we're singing it the whole time over and over and over and over and over again.

Angela:
And sometimes, you know, we like to put scripture to music specifically. Yes. To help us with our understanding and understanding of who we are, because sometimes, in this process, we lose some of our identity.

Rodney:
We lose our identity, yeah.

Angela:
And so, you might listen to, you know, a song that says who you are in Christ.

Rodney:
Right.

And there are songs like that. So again, you know, that playlist can change based on what understanding you need, and then, our worship, you know, understanding who God is and who we are in his presence. And that can really help to wash away a lot of extra things that the enemy is trying to bring to our mind, those thoughts that are intruding and triggers and reminders, all of that.

Rodney:
Yes, all of that, all of that. They keep coming. And so, we have to aggressively fill our minds with God's truth; create heaven's playlists. You know, delete hell's playlist and create heaven's playlist, and then feed ourselves with that. And it helps us with our understanding there.

Angela:
And a lot of things, you know, that lead to infidelity are a result of faulty thinking. So, you know, I noticed how really allowed God to change how you thought about a whole lot of different things, about interactions, about boundaries, you know, and that understanding changed, of even what was going on and all of that. So...

Rodney:
That's great. It helps us, not to be double-minded. To focus in on God's truth. So, M is for, what? Memory, memory, memorization, emotional recall. U is for understanding. Right? So it, it helps us to comprehend, to process, to think through what we're singing. S is for sensory and motor skills or senses. Okay. What does that mean to you? What do you want me to say?

Angela:
You go ahead.

Rodney:
Okay. So, sensory motor skills. So, music helps us with mobility. It helps us to kind of get moving. You know, sometimes we just, we just need to move, a different direction than where we were headed. And so, music can help us with that. When, when king Saul had an evil spirit on him, the Bible says that music, David played music and music helped the evil spirit depart, and it kind of moved things into a different direction. So, music can help us, with a mobility, auditory and visual perception, helps us with speech. So, it helps us in a lot of different ways. Just even physically, music can really, really help us. If I'm playing something <plays piano> now, you see, notice, when I started playing, I didn't tell her to move, but she started moving.

Angela:
Don't <laugh> don't control me through the music. All right. Stop.

Rodney:
Okay. So, it helps us with, with our mobility helps us kind of get things going there. M for memory; U for understanding; S for our senses, sensory and motor skills; I is for what?

Angela:
Imagination.

Rodney:
Imagination. So, it really helps us like with our mood and to put us into a different mood, which is why they play music when you're shopping. <laugh> Because they want you to be in a mood to spend more money.

Angela:
So are you saying that shopping is an expression of creation and imagination? That's great.

Rodney:
Well, all things are, the earth is the Lord-that's scripture I was looking for.

Angela:
That's a good point, honey. That is great.

Rodney:
The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. So, you can use all of that for God's glory.

Angela:
That's right.

Rodney:
But music can help us with just relaxing and just kind of being in, <plays piano>

Angela:
There you go again.

Rodney:
Just, it sets the whole tune-sets the tone of what's going on. So music can help us...

Angela:
See, he's always trying to calm me down. But one of the songs opposite of that, that I listened to, during that time <laugh> was actually a song called, "I Hate You." <laugh> And it helped me to express-it was talking about hating the enemy.

Rodney:
That song, who recorded that one?

Angela:
Mali music

Rodney:
Mali music. Yeah. Yeah.

Angela:
<laugh> And when I kind of get mad at the devil, I'll play that, right. Talks about being him, being a liar and a cheater and trying to destroy you.

Rodney:
That's the truth.

Angela:
And just, you know, hating, we, we hate what the enemy tries to do to couples, to keep them from representing the love of Christ in the church.

Rodney:
Yeah. That's so true.

Angela:
So, you know, if you've got some anger, you need to get out, music can help you do that too. It can help you calm down. It can help you amp up. It can help you find courage.

Rodney:
It can help us dream again and, think in the right direction for ourselves, for our spouse, for our family, for our future. The music can help set the tone for that.

Angela:
Yeah, and another song that you just, just made me think about, with imagination. Kirk Franklin has a song called, "Imagine me." And, and that one actually says, "Imagine me being free, trusting you totally. Finally, I can imagine me being free." And that was one thing that you said you didn't know if you'd ever be free.

Rodney:
Right. That's so true. But thank God for freedom. Seven years out. Well, this year makes eight years by God's grace. And then the C is consciousness, you know? So our mind and our heart, you know, there are actually studies that show people who have, diseases like Alzheimer's, who are suffering from Alzheimer's, that music helps them. It brings them, it reawakens them. You know, brings them to life again.

Angela:
Times that they enjoyed with music, maybe when they danced or, you know, their song with a loved one or spouse or something like that. And, you know, people are drooling and hungover and they come to life when they hear music and recall it and respond to it in their consciousness.

Rodney:
Yeah. And, we'll put the link down there, but it's Music and Memory that they do a lot of studies on that. And I think they, they spend a lot of their time going into nursing homes and things like that and creating playlists for them. And then they listen to some of their favorite music and you just see them reawaken. That's our prayer for us. That's our prayer for you all, whether you are with your spouse or not with your spouse, wherever you are on the spectrum, you know, wherever you are in your journey and your path. It's using God's word through music to pipe in help and hope and wholeness and peace and joy and love. And so that's, that's kind of what we want to offer today.

Angela:
Yep. That's how music helped us heal from infidelity.

Rodney:
And helps us!

Angela:
We hope that it can help you, on your journey as well. Like you said. And let's leave them with something musical.

Rodney:
Okay, go ahead. What do you wanna say? All right. You go it

Angela:
All right. We hope and pray...

Rodney:
What key are you in?

Angela:
I dunno. We hope and pray you find your way. We hope and pray today. We hope and pray you find your way and music helps you along the way. <laugh>

Rodney:
Hey. Music helps you along the way.

Angela:
Hope and pray music helps you-

Both:
-along the way.

Rodney:
All right. See you next time.

Both:
Songs for the Soul!

Rodney:
God bless you. Bye-bye.

Angela:
Bye-bye!

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Comments

Thanks

Awesome. Much blessings

wonderful

I love this and what a wonderful addition to AR!

Great job in adding music to the healing journey of infidelity!

So good...

Thank you for sharing your talent to bless others

Absolutely love this!

Thank you for sharing this gift with all of us!

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