Samuel shares one of the most important tips to help couples in crisis heal.
Samuel shares four key points to help betrayed spouses reconnect with their unfaithful spouse.
Last blog I posed a thought life challenge I've heard many betrayed express. Was my life 'real'? I don't know what to believe. What was real and what wasn't? To say that my life had not been what I thought it was would be quite an understatement. Real in every way to me, yet I was in fact controlled via the withholding of vital information to believe I was safe and in the gentle care of a loving, faithful spouse.
I won't pretend to say my thoughts on this are true for anyone but myself, but you may find threads of similarity with my feelings....
For the unfaithful spouse, there will come a point in your recovery where you will begin your grief process. It will likely not happen at the same time or in the same way as your spouse, and it should not come as a surprise to us.
Grief is the vehicle in which we carry our pain. For betrayed spouses, grief begins immediately; they are bombarded and overwhelmed by the shock waves of finding out that their spouse has cheated on them. They are in horrendous pain, and the grief...
Samuel shares four key points that the unfaithful can utilize to win back their betrayed spouse's heart.
Samuel helps both spouses understand the need to survive before they can move on to the next season of repair work.
When it comes to God, one of the most beautiful things about Him is also what I find most fascinating about Him --- He simply won't change. He doesn't budge and He is who He says He is. Yesterday, today, forever.
God does not keep office hours or change His mind on a matter. He won't get bored and He sure isn't fickle. His compassion will never end. He will never tire of hearing or listening to our broken hearts.
For all of us trying to sort out the...
Samuel discusses how to prioritize our own individual healing while discussing a major struggle couples in recovery face.
Today Samuel shares five keys to personal and marital recovery work.
Hope Rising 2019 is a one-day event for betrayed spouses to be inspired with hope, practical strategies and resources as they navigate healing from infidelity. Gather with other betrayed spouses as experts, past participants, and author Shelley Martinkus speak truth into what it’s like to heal from infidelity. Find new life with a community who truly "gets it."
Shelley Martinkus, 2019's Hope Rising Keynote Speaker, would like to extend a personal invitation to YOU:
How did you have the good fortune to come across Affair Recovery?
I found AR while I scoured the internet for help. Post D-day, I did what I have always done when there is a crisis in my family---research.
To be fair, first I cried.
I cried and cried and cried. I simply could not believe my husband could do such a thing; the person who was one half of the golden couple of our college. One half of the couple all our friends envied. The guy our female friends called such a wonderful husband. "He's so affectionate. He washes dishes! He is so nice to us. He likes all...
Today I am going to share the biggest mistake that I made since my last affair, and how it almost cost me everything. It was, in my opinion, even worse than my infidelity. That mistake was my inability to reach full disclosure the first time. For six weeks, I held on to secrets about my behavior and I continued to lie about what I had done.
Our world started crumbling down on our wedding anniversary two years ago. Every single detail of the disclosure process is awful, but it really...
Today, one of our EMS Weekend therapists, Leigh Ashley, continues her discussion on codependency and how to navigate it's complexities.
Today, one of our EMS Weekend therapists, Leigh Ashley, discusses a key component in recovery work: codependency.
When I received my first contract to publish in 2006, I never imagined the path of the next decade. The biggest 'high' of my life ended with the biggest low. For the first time in my life I'd ventured into a pursuit completely of my own making, my own dream. The story I'd spent six months crafting was considered enviable, a work worth taking the risk a publisher takes every time they invest time, money and effort into a new author. I'd accomplished what few aspiring authors would: a book publishing...
Research shows that there is a growing number of unfaithful women. Exact numbers are hard to come by, and I expect that will always be the case. If unfaithful spouses are lying, why would they be honest in research? Regardless, I think we can all learn qualitatively. And I feel called to put a voice behind the myths and questions out there.
One...
Samuel reveals and discusses one of the biggest killers of momentum and intimacy in both recovery work and marriage.
Each week, my staff and I work hard to find content that's not only comforting, but insightful and revealing. When one spouse can understand what's reasonable and what's to be expected in healthy recovery, much needed perspective is found, momentum is gained and healing can flourish. Alternatively, when one spouse feels as though they are on a completely different island than the other, disconnection occurs and recovery spirals.
Our Recovery Library is filled with over 3,000 pieces of hard hitting and insightful information designed specifically with those in mind who are in crisis...
Samuel answers a viewers question and sheds light on a sensitive topic.
Samuel discusses denial in repair work and how it damages both spouses.
Samuel shares insight into what a process looks like when healing from infidelity.
"Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money, the $#!* has Hit the Fan" Warren Zevon
As a Christian, I always understood marriage to be a biblical union of two people, a part of God's plan for companionship as first illustrated in the Garden of Eden. Common text book definitions note a union of two people or a combination of two or more elements. While its roots are biblical, our society recognizes it as an institution, inherent with legal rights and responsibilities.
As we all know, healing and reconciliation in this arena takes significant time and work. The problem is, the legal system we use to institutionalize marriage does not give incentive to allow time to "wait...
Last night we were attending church. If you are not a church goer, no judgement here. The number of times I set foot inside a church before I turned 25 was few and far between. Church can be such a healing place for many, yet such a triggering place for others. Throughout my own life I have seen so many good things done by the church. I have also witnessed the very worst of humanity inside the supposed church walls. However, I still believe in the church simply because I choose...
Samuel shares more of his own story and how rushing Samantha never worked.
Samuel answers a viewers question about still communicating with an affair partner after the affair is over.
Samuel shares a key recovery tool for his own healing and a relapse prevention tool.
Samuel answers a viewers question and shares insight into when it's time to focus on your own recovery
Samuel discusses trying to control our spouse's reactions to infidelity and repair work.
The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, A puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, Not as they pretend to be. Jeremiah 17:9-10
Roots: Part 1
Remember those shallow roots we are...
Samuel uses a well known parable to illustrate what it takes to heal from betrayal.
What Type of Affair Was It?
Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
