So many of your videos seem SO relevant to my situation. This one, so much so, that, I just don't know what to say.
This is my husband right now and for the past year and a half since Dday. His shame, self loathing, feeling that he's evil, even feeling that God has chosen to disown him seem to be one of our greatest hurdles, that we have not overcome. (The other, major ones being, cutting off ALL communication with the AP & the trickle of information/non disclosure) I feel if we could get past these three, we would at least have the opportunity to possibly make it, & in my mind, a much better marriage than ever before.
As you mentioned in one of your more recent videos, I am the betrayed who wants to work it out, and he the ambivalent one who can't decide whether to stay or go. He filed D papers almost 10 months ago, but had done nothing more since. He says the "it's all so much more than just the affair" and he's afraid things will go back to the way they were before, as well as afraid that I can never truly forgive him.
I know I can't force anything with him and that if we want a truly meaningful relationship in the future, it has to be his decision, for him. It's just so hard to wait patiently and not be able to fully grieve the way I feel I need to, for fear of pushing him away or pushing him into a deeper depression/self loathing.
Any thoughts to help him get to this place, without coercion or guilt trips?
If you can point me to articles, videos or whatever, to help him forgive himself so he can allow himself to accept God's grace and forgiveness, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you (& Rick, et al) for your effort and work in this ministry