Self Pity: Part 3

Today Samuel discusses in his video how to disarm self pity and find personal healing in recovery from infidelity.

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One negative comment.

In several of your blogs you mention "I had built this ministry" for some reason that never sets well with my spirit. I am reminded of this verse.

New International Version
Psalm 117:1 . Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.

My church went through a time when several put their eyes on the pastor and not the Lord. He to was removed from the church in a scandal.

Just my thoughts.

My thoughts on your thoughts

SLM, I think your comment would have been better suited for a msg or email, rather than public comment. To me, it seems you are parsing words. Edification doesn't happen in front of the whole class. Shaming does. To me, it feels like you are taking the sweet honey of God's word and turning it into vinegar.


godismyanchor, i agree with you. a bit ridiculous if you ask me to point fingers....samuel has been shamed enough from what i hear and read and listen to and probably doesn't need it here too. thank you for sharing what you shared.....i'm amazed at how good people are attacked or criticized for one statement that sure may not be the best way to state something, but isn't a reflection of their heart. i'm getting angrier as i type.
just sad.

for some reason comment...

i never post here. i've always been hesitant, but watch most of all the vlogs. i'm really bothered by you's a guy who seemingly pours his heart out, shares his life with you (and us) and then you have the audacity to belittle him and shame him and be critical of him. how many other people are doing what he's doing trying to help? how many others are sharing their story, and like Samuel, really putting it out there? not many i can tell you that. few are willing to do what he's doing and then you shame him. your religious spirit of criticism has no place here on these blogs. judge them by their fruits....the same way you judge will it come back upon you. i think you should apologize publicly for your harsh critique. i also think you may be projecting your bitterness you have for your husband on samuel. please stop. he's not out to hurt or wound, he's out to heal. you seem to be looking for someone to hurt and wound.

your spirit seems ok with biting the hand that feeds us

i'm sorry but i think you're spirit is clouded due to the fact that you seem to be using scriptures to shame someone trying to help all of us, but you can't see your own self righteousness and criticism. i hope you'll apologize.

Win win

Cathartic for you, guiding and reassuring for those if us trying to feel our way out of the fog.
What you said about whining/complaining being a veiled version of self pity resonated with me. Something for me to watch for in my mirror.
IYHO, would it be ok to pass this one on to my unfaithful? I usually try to refrain, because I've learned I am not my husband's Holy Spirit; my general rule of thumb is, if it's encouraging/positive, it's ok for me to share it with him. If it appears to be a splinter in his eye, I'll leave it up to God to guide him to it or address it in a manner that's best suited for my husband. Back to my question- I believe he would benefit from your exhortation to forgive himself, as a been there done that fellow brother, vs me.

On a different note, your

On a different note, your opinion, not only as an unfaithful, but also as a pastor- can you explain the conondrum, seemingly catch 22, of feeling so ashamed and disgusted with yourself that you not only cannot forgive yourself, but you feel so unworthy, that you'll not allow yourself to ask God for forgiveness? From one point if view, it almost seems prideful; like you know better than God what (or who) is worthy of foregiveness, and who is not. On another hand, it seems like a Möbius strip- one has to forgive themselves in order to ask God to forgive them, BUT, can one foregive themselves if they haven't been foregiven by God? Is it in fact a pride thing? Needing to humble yourself to the point of, "yes God, I don't deserve it. I'm lower than the scum on a snake's belly. But... Would you please foregive me?" Where does the clear conscience come from, yourself? God? Or both?

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-D, Texas