I understand. In one of my wife's affairs she was persuing a sexy younger married man she had a fling with and he told her to leave him alone. In another, a wealthy ex boyfriend seduced her and offered marriage and a life of leisure in another country. She didn't go with him because he was arrogant and she didn't want to take our sons away from family. In neither case did she cease the affair because she chose me.

I can relate so much! So glad I read this today - it confirmed my conversation with God yesterday. As the betrayed spouse, I need to feel chosen and wanted. I spent a lot of time trying (too hard) to be the relationship in prior years and not only did it exhaust me, but it left me feeling bitter. After feeling unwanted, undesired, disliked, and rejected for so long I need to know that I’m chosen. I am now aware that I can’t be the one pursuing (at this time) and need to be pursued.