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Expectations of Empathy: A Betrayed Spouse’s Journey
Each week, my staff and I work hard to find content that's not only comforting, but insightful and revealing. When one spouse can understand what's reasonable and what's to be expected in healthy recovery, much needed perspective is found, momentum is gained and healing can flourish. Alternatively, when one spouse feels as though they are on a completely different island than the other, disconnection occurs and recovery spirals.
Our Recovery Library is filled with over 3,000 pieces of hard hitting and insightful information designed specifically with those in mind who are in crisis and looking for direction. This week I'd like to highlight three new additions to our library which will help provide both clarity and hope for those who are suffering and looking for direction.
Recently, a subscriber posed the question to me in our Expert Q & A, asking, "What Are Reasonable Expectations for My Unfaithful Spouse's Behavior?":
Clients of ours frequently find themselves wondering "What is the best approach for us: EMS Weekend or EMS Online?" Such is the case with another subscriber who asked what program they should pursue for their recovery:
Finally, Samuel shared a video blog entitled "Empathy: A Game Changer in Recovery". Empathy is a critical piece to the puzzle for unfaithful spouses to "get it". I think Samuel does a concise and wonderful job explaining why empathy is so critical to the healing process:
If you're hurting and need help, we have several ways to support you in your recovery. I'd like to personally invite you to consider doing what you've never done, to experience healing you've maybe never experienced. Our resources are more than capable of bringing about healing and transformation to even the most difficult situation. The time to take action is now. Whether it be pursuing recovery for yourself or for you and your spouse, we can help. Harboring Hope, our course for betrayed spouses is worth considering. If you are the betrayed partner looking for a safe place to find healing, I encourage you to register as soon as you can.
What type of affair was it?
Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp
Comments
Hope for empathy
I was betrayed. 22 years 2 planned children. I had to find out myself after being put through hell for close to a year being told I was crazy and my partner watched me as I completely broke. With a straight face would lie and blamed me. There was involvement from my partners family gave me a shoulder to cry on while knowing the truth and lied in such a cruel way it destroyed me. I wanted nothing more than to repair any part I played in the betrayal but never got that in return. Now we have been trying to work it out and there are ups and downs. My triggers are extreme due to how I found out and what I read and seen. There was zero remorse and after I confronted it was all my fault and continued to justify and lie. I myself have worked hard to understand both sides. I have excepted what has happened but the triggers are difficult since there is zero empathy when it happens instead I get shame, anger and told I am causing pain and guilt. When all I want is empathy and acknowledgement. I love my partner very much and it hurts me to know I am causing pain but it doesn't feel right without empathy.
Motivation
Hi, as I am listening to the advice, I hear “if you want your betrayed partner to do this” then show empathy. As a betrayed wife, I do not want my husband to have empathy for the sake of what he wants from me but for the sake of really understanding what I need and because he feels my pain. No more selfish acts will show me that he can give something not only for his own gain but out of genuine care for the person they hurt.
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