How Do I Get My Betrayed Partner to Trust Me Again after Infidelity?

Trusting again after infidelity is no easy task for the betrayed partner. The unfaithful can spend an enormous amount of energy doing what they think will help regain trust with the betrayed, only to find themselves frustrated, confused and in some cases angry at the realization that the betrayed still doesn't trust them. To many outside the arena of affair recovery, trusting again seems impossible, yet to those who have walked the road of healing and restoration, trust is in fact possible. However, it's a new trust. No longer a naive trust that is unaware of the darkness of the unfaithful, but a trust built upon intimacy, honesty and ultimately safety. Today you'll hear Samuel share time tested insight into how the unfaithful can eventually regain trust and safety with their betrayed partner.

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still thinks I'm withholding information

Because I lied about everything (big to small) and have piece-mealed the truth, my betrayed spouse continues to say "there has to be more to it" "You are not telling me everything", "I can move past it when you've told me the truth about everything", "when is the next bomb going to drop?", etc. I have no credibility because I've lied about things over the course of many many years but there is truly nothing that I am keeping from my betrayed spouse now. What do I do at this point?

An idea

Submit to a polygraph. If she cannot believe you, then maybe believing the results of a polygraph will help her get there. They are mentioned on this board quite a bit.

Broke No Contact rule to tell AP to stop contacting.

My wife and I agreed to a No Contact rule with the AP. About a month had passed since I stopped all contact yet the AP continued to reach out via phone and email regardless of my attempts to block her. After repeated missed late night missed calls I sent a very direct message to the AP that she is hurting my recovery and she must stop. A few days later the AP sent an email acknowledging my demands. Since then I had not heard from her for over two weeks. I saved her acknowledgment as I felt it was closure for the first time from the AP side however I kept the missed calls and email from my wife in fear of it damaging our recovery efforts as we were not in a safe place to inform her.

Last night my wife was looking through my phone as she often does for spot checks and came across the saved email. Rather than allowing me to explain that my intentions were to help our recovery she has moved us back into separation threatening divorce and being resentful to me and my distrust.

I have no interest in the AP nor have I had any continued communication with her. I am doing everything I can to create a safe place for our recovery but she no longer wants to work on it. I wrote out my good intentions to my wife but they are falling on deaf ears.

I am lost on how I can help our recovery when my intentions have been misunderstood and all trust is gone.

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas