Affair Recovery

I grew up in a very broken family. My parents divorced when I was around two years old and I never really knew my biological father. My mother was an alcoholic who drank and smoked her life away. We were very poor, I remember a time when the only thing we had in the cupboard was half of a jar of peanut butter. My mother was married before and I have 3 half-brothers from 2 different fathers. I never had a father figure in my life. None of the fathers stuck around. In the toughest times we boys, were passed around to relatives that could take care of us. After high school, I entered the Army. After my...

Recently, a client shared with me this text she received from a friend:

"Saw your post today and had to respond. A woman who decided to choose family over female pride, I admire you. You have more strength than most. It's easy to bail to try to prove strength to others...I didn't want to say before, but it IS for each woman to decide herself which path she chooses to take. Just because you choose to stay, doesn't mean you're weak. As a matter of fact, it takes a stronger woman to stay! Most take the path of least resistance, it takes a mountain of a woman to stay and fight!"

I understand the pain men and women experience who choose to work on their relationships after betrayal. In days gone by it was divorce that branded one with shame, but today, the...

Samuel shares practical insight into how to handle and resist triggers in recovery.

As I wrote in my previous blog article, “Is He Worth It?” my husband is capable of both enormous deception and immense change. So the other day when he contributed to a trigger I could have sat and fumed about why I put up with his actions. But instead I did something that I’ve been doing for three years post D-day. I acted intentionally. After asking myself for the hundredth time why I put up with him I then answered myself for the hundredth time with my personal recovery mantra:

My husband is worth another chance.

My husband is capable of great change.

I’m stronger than I think, braver than I...

Samuel offers perspective into handling and processing fear as an unfaithful or betrayed spouse.

Samuel shares helpful insight for the betrayed spouse on dealing with anger throughout the course of infidelity and disclosure.

Samuel shares insight on one of the key approaches by the betrayed which prevents healing in his third part of the mini series.

Part 1: https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/blockages-healing-part-1
Part 2: https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/blockages-healing-part-2

Samuel continues his mini-series on what mindsets prevent healing in recovery.
Part 1: https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/blockages-healing-part-1

Eleven days after D-day and moving in with his Affair Partner my husband returned home so we could see if our marriage was worth saving. For a couple of hours that evening we sat together reading old letters and looking at old pictures. The tough conversations would come later but that night while reminiscing about our past we connected in a way we hadn’t in years.

My husband and I met our sophomore year of high school when I was 15 and he was 16. He was the first boy I ever dated. We went our separate ways and dated other people but after graduation, we reconnected freshman year of college and were engaged. Sure I...

Yes? Congratulations!!

Bet you didn’t expect that statement after revealing what felt like your spouse tearing your heart out of your chest and stomping on it, did you?

I remember back to D-Day, the devastation, the uncertainty, and the pain. I remember vomiting until there was nothing left to vomit. I remember the hopelessness. I remember the suicidal thoughts.

I remember the advice and guidance. God told me to forgive. My friends told me to dump the skank and go get laid. My parents told me to protect the children. My pastor told me to pray. My lawyer told me to preserve evidence....

Samuel does a follow up to his first video on his journey to faith, addressing disappointment.

John Gray wrote Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus in 1992 and subtitled it “A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationship.” The book highlights the differences between the way men and women respond to stress and stressful situations. With more than 50 million copies sold Gray obviously hit on something at the heart of relationship problems:

Men and women think, react and respond differently.

The truth of that fact was front and center for me on D-day and in the months and years since. I would be screaming in anger and pain while my husband would...

Samuel shares more about he and Samantha's past and how early on, he was terrified of himself.

Samuel discusses how soon to get to expert help after discovering infidelity in your relationship.