Samuel uses a well known parable to illustrate what it takes to heal from betrayal.
Samuel shares a hopeful message of how to not give up on your own healing.
But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone; the Eternal will be his confidence. He is like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots beside the stream. It does not fear the heat or even drought. Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces. Jeremiah 17:7-8
We live on...
Samuel shares a pivotal mistake unfaithful spouses make in recovery work.
Samuel shares insight into a common struggle for couples in recovery.
To betrayed spouses everywhere: other than the obvious apology that is owed to you for the injustice thrown upon you due to infidelity, I have yet another confession to offer to you.
I am embarrassed to say how deep my fears, insecurities and shame have reached. For much of my recovery (for most of the first year anyway), I have been afraid of you. I have feared your pain, your emotion, your comments and your rawness of emotion. I know...
Samuel discusses what happens when betrayed spouses consider forgiving their spouse too early in recovery.
Samuel shares insight into how both spouses can heal after infidelity.
Samuel shares pivotal insight surrounding the need for the right process in recovering from infidelity.
Samuel discusses denial and it's effects upon those in crisis.
Two years ago, I had my first d day. Wow, how my life has changed since. I find myself fighting darkness again lately. Perhaps it's the anniversary, perhaps its fatigue, perhaps it's a little bit of a lot of things… so I write to clear my head. This blog is simply the ramblings of a betrayed man in the weeds.
We recently moved. Some events in my working life late last year instigated a domino effect that resulted in my...
One of the things I have found to be true about the walk of recovery from infidelity, is the longer I walk, the less I know. And the less I know, the more I feel.
The feeling that has overwhelmed me of late is one of pretty intense sadness. It seems I feel sorrow in every bone and fiber within me. I feel it deeply, and it feels like a dam around my heart that can break loose at any moment. When I look at my...
Samuel shares the truth behind the statement: if you loved me you would have never cheated on me.
Today I wanted to share something that happened in my office that was incredibly moving to me. At work, we get to see people of all ages and ailments. Whatever your profession is, have you ever had a moment when someone walks in your door and you quickly realize (even though you are the so called professional) that you are the one about to learn?
This morning, that was me. An 84 year old woman I had been helping came in. Her daughter usually drives her, because she...
Samuel shares what remorse sounds and looks like for those in crisis.
Samuel discusses misunderstanding, defensiveness and accusation.
Samuel helps those who feel stuck in their recovery.
Samuel shares personal insight on how to heal from the humiliation spouses feel from infidelity.
When I hear the words liar or cheater, I get a yucky and icky feeling in my stomach. I do not have the strength to face the realization that all of us are broken, without also knowing all people are able to choose humility and redemption. If I don't accept the possibility for change and repentance, I will drown in a spiral of shame.
It is hard to look back on my life and admit or pinpoint when I started telling lies instead of the truth. Like water is to a fish, it is something I have always lived with. That might sound strange to some, but perhaps a better way to explain would be to say that I have always lived with fear. Fear and anxiety that the truth is often an ugly thing, and I didn't see much repentance, acceptance, or forgiveness in my family of origin.
I do recall...
We know it's hard to think straight when your life is in crisis. How could you know what to do with a ruptured relationship if you've never been in this situation before? Since Affair Recovery was founded, we have helped thousands of people like you discover newfound hope and healing in their relationships. With a proven curriculum and support from a small group, pain and mistrust can be replaced by truth, compassion, and understanding.
Many couples and individuals who have come to our site for help ask about the validity and effectiveness of the 'group-dynamic'. It can...
Samuel answers a viewers question about when it's better to walk away from your spouse.
Chances are if you are reading this, you are waiting for something. I remember early on in our recovery from my infidelity, it seemed that I was waiting mostly for some sort of relief from the circumstances I had created. I was lost in a complete shame spiral, and I wanted relief! I wanted the pain to go away. I have to admit now, I also was so ready for my husband to not be in pain anymore. I humbly can't even say I was healthy enough that I wanted healing for us. I only wanted relief.
When we first...
Samuel discusses what it means to lose yourself while doing repair work.
Samuel answers a viewers question about what to do when their betrayed spouse won't get help.
If you are reading this and your affair has been discovered, chances are you don't know where to turn, where to go, or have any idea what will come of your life.
You might feel like your life is over. Humiliation probably doesn't begin to scratch the surface of what you are feeling. You are now exposed for who you really are. You are a cheater. You are a liar. And you are a sham. There is nowhere to hide and it is time to face what you have done. You probably don't like what you see in the mirror...
Samuel shares a monumental recovery tool for those who are trying to get unstuck in their recovery work.
Samuel discusses a normal struggle for couples in crisis due to infidelity.
I am writing this as I sit on a flight to a sunny destination with my husband; the same man who has courageously fought to give our marriage another chance.
So much has changed in our lives over the past few years. We have aged. We have toughened. We are different now. The innocence we once had is gone.
Yet many things about us remain strangely familiar: our quirks and idiosyncrasies. One example of this, is that we are not...
Samuel shares practical insight into why the unfaithful hesitates to give details about their affair.
Samuel interviews MJ Denis on understanding multiple disclosures and how to help the betrayed spouse move forward.
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