Survivors' Blog

What about When the Female Is the Unfaithful? Part One

Samuel interviews an unfaithful, female therapist, who helps couples in crisis due to infidelity.

Comments

Did the revenge cheating help?

Submitted by Janejones (not verified) on Tue, 01/22/2019 - 11:43

I would like to know if it helped dispel your anger? did it level the playing field? How did it feel knowing that he was hurt in the same way he hurt you? Are you a Christian and if so how did you reconcile the struggle of sin vs the vindication of choosing what you wanted to do? Interested Betrayed spouse.

It is me

Submitted by Forgivemenot on Wed, 01/23/2019 - 11:49

I guess this situation helps you more than him. I mean you see how self centered you may be, now you know how it has happened to him. Also gives you confidence somehow. Let's see if he may deal with it as I did like. Very selfishly unfortunately.

Interesting. BW/UW dynamic.

Submitted by jaynelovesvera on Thu, 01/24/2019 - 14:39

Interesting. BW/UW dynamic. As one of those BHs that wonders about the UW/BH dymanic, it seems that there would be significant differences between the whys/reasons/justifications/cognitive distortions of a UW and a wife that had a revenge affair.

Glad to see this video. Hoping it will lead to more in the same vein and hopefully one that is not a revenge issue but a wife who wasn't reacting to infidelity but initiating it. And it also seems (anecdotal only) that there are more BHs discussing wives with multiple APs/serial situations and even emotionless infidelity more like what I think I assumed would be a UHs M.O.

Yes please another UW video as the previous comment describes

Submitted by BlooMing on Tue, 02/05/2019 - 16:29

"Glad to see this video. Hoping it will lead to more in the same vein and hopefully one that is not a revenge issue but a wife who wasn't reacting to infidelity but initiating it. And it also seems (anecdotal only) that there are more BHs discussing wives with multiple APs/serial situations and even emotionless infidelity more like what I think I assumed would be a UHs M.O."

Thank you!

Extended Family Damage

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 02/07/2019 - 13:03

As an unfaithful i pulled my family and friends into my story and really made my husband look like the monster. During the first few months after my infidelity came to light, my family picked sides and after us being together for 20 years, made him feel like he was no longer family. He loved(s) my family and their abandonment of him was devastating. They have since supported our reunion and want us to be happy/healthy in our marriage, but my husband now wants nothing to do with them and doesn't think he ever wants a relationship with them again since they picked sides and made him feel like an outcast. He gets upset if i talk to my mom or dad about our life or what's going on with the kids because he thinks i'm picking sides. I want him to know that i support him and his feelings and am on his side, but i also think it's important for us to move forward and reconnect with our family. Do you have any blogs on this or recommendations on how to move forward?

i don't have any vlogs on this....

Submitted by Samuel on Thu, 02/14/2019 - 13:37

very sorry, no vlogs on it, but you may be able to search Rick's Q and A on the site or our recovery library if you're a member. it's going to take time for sure and sensitivity to each side. i would probably see what you can find in the way of a few books that talk about healing family discord and things of that nature. i've seen things get much better for couples and families but it does take time and work to get there. i'm sorry i don't have more for you.

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What type of affair was it?

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