My husband's 8 year affair with his work colleague in another state ended last April when he left his job and would no longer see her. He says that he never planned on leaving me, that for both of them it was just about casual sex 3 or 4 times a year. She initiated the affair when she invited him to her room on an overseas trip in 2010. He says he looked forward to her attention and flirting, and when he knew he'd be seeing her that day he felt excitement and anticipation. He believes he got more interested after the sex started and may have been infatuated for the first year or so. He says he didn't think about her much when they weren't together---and yet 2 years into the affair he was searching her online (he says he was curious about her partner), and buying her very expensive jewelry. I'm confused because to me high end jewelry is something you give to somebody really special to you. On the flip side, other than an occasional mildly flirty text or e-mail they didn't correspond outside of work, which doesn't imply strong love. He says that he didn't love her and wasn't planning on leaving me, he was just infatuated, until he wasn't. But isn't infatuation the start of love? What IS infatuation? I'm struggling to understand how important she was to him.