Q&A What Is the Difference between Infatuation and Love?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My husband's 8 year affair with his work colleague in another state ended last April when he left his job and would no longer see her. He says that he never planned on leaving me, that for both of them it was just about casual sex 3 or 4 times a year. She initiated the affair when she invited him to her room on an overseas trip in 2010. He says he looked forward to her attention and flirting, and when he knew he'd be seeing her that day he felt excitement and anticipation. He believes he got more interested after the sex started and may have been infatuated for the first year or so. He says he didn't think about her much when they weren't together---and yet 2 years into the affair he was searching her online (he says he was curious about her partner), and buying her very expensive jewelry. I'm confused because to me high end jewelry is something you give to somebody really special to you. On the flip side, other than an occasional mildly flirty text or e-mail they didn't correspond outside of work, which doesn't imply strong love. He says that he didn't love her and wasn't planning on leaving me, he was just infatuated, until he wasn't. But isn't infatuation the start of love? What IS infatuation? I'm struggling to understand how important she was to him.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas