Q&A What Do You Do If You Have a Trigger and It Makes You Think of a New Detail?

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I am the wayward spouse and we have had full disclosure. The problem is there is always more details. It was an affair with coworker lasting 3 1/2 years. It’s a long time to remember every tiny detail. What do you do if you have a trigger and it makes you think of a new detail? Do you share that with your spouse? I have no problem sharing just wondering if it will help or hurt him? My trigger today was the scent of a candle. My husband and I were shopping and we purchased a candle that smelled really good. I kept trying to figure out what it smelled like. We got home and I smelled it again and boom a trigger. It was the scent of a brand of perfume that the affair partner liked. So during the infidelity I asked my husband to get that perfume for me and he did. The affair partner asked me after Christmas did I get some of that perfume and I told the affair partner yes. So then this is rolling around in my head and now I have a candle in my home. To be fair to Paul I want to throw the candle away but can’t until I tell Paul about this trigger. Do I disclosed the trigger. It’s nothing I withheld I just remembered it by the smell of that candle. I would appreciate some guidance on this.



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