Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

An Extraodinary Life

Ever had one of those great evenings that was an amazing gift? Stephanie and I did just this last week. We were invited to a 25-year anniversary celebration for a couple who came through Affair Recovery eight years ago. What made that evening even more profound was their choice of guests. They had also invited two other couples that had walked with them through their infidelity crisis. When John and Samantha came to see me (the names are changed) they were DOA. (dead on arrival).  John was d…
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You can work it out

Tomorrow it will be one year since I discovered my husband's six year affair with a woman from Germany.  From the moment of discovery until now I have been wrestling with recovery.  In April we also celebrated our 25th Anniversary, and one year ago (at the point of discovery) I would never have thought this anniversay could happen.  How could I stay married to a man who led such a double life of lies and betrayal.  We renewed our vows at that celebration, and when we said "From this day forward..." it had very special meaning for both of us.  When you learn to walk, you learn to fall and get back up.  We fell hard.  But we also had something together that the other woman did not have with my husband - marital love, day-to-day contact, children, history, mutual friends, property, etc.  We decided together that in order to make our marriage work, we had to "get back up."  It has not been an easy road for either of us, but it is one that we are walking hand in hand.  The past is part of our history, but it isn't who we are together.  When we said, "From this day forward..."  we meant it.  Your book turned me around to believe that recovery was possible.  For those of you out there wondering, please know that recovery IS possible.

Great Story Rick, here is one that is almost as ironic

I met Ruth (Biblical names but changed for the right reasons) early in the morning along with 3 elders from their church at the neighborhood clubhouse near her home.  Ruth's husband, Jacob, was going to be sitting through an intervention in a few minutes.  I was invited at the last minute to be a friend to Jacob and offer support.  When the five of us arrived, Jacob was still in bed.  He came down in his pajamas to find his wife, three 'freinds' from church and me, a stranger, in his living room.  The four of them alternated their displeasure with Jacob's behavoir and were there to ask him to leave the house and get 'help'.  That is when I entered the picture and offered our ministry to support Jacob.  He was reluctant at first.  But, with some individual and couple counseling, Jacob and Ruth started dating again.  Then, slowly, after a year, Ruth invited Jacob to return home.


About 14 months after the initial intervention, Jacob and Ruth invited the Elders, Pastors and spouses to a dinner at their home.  It is the first time I have ever heard of a couple having an intervention inviting the intervention team to a celebration.

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas