It was a strange name that pricked my curiosity, but I questioned the thought. Why was I so interested about her name? I was out to eat with my wife and our waitress had just stopped by the table to introduce herself. My normal routine would've been to ask how she came by her unusual and beautifully unique name. This was the first time I stopped to ponder, why would I do that?
A quick glance told me the restaurant was short staffed, and the waitress was responsible for too many tables. How will my asking her about her name benefit her? It would only cost her time which would not only make her job more difficult, but it would negatively impact how quickly other customers were served. How would it make Stephanie feel if I began chatting with our cute waitress about the origin of her...
Hello. My name is Candace. I have something to share with you today that was submitted to Affair Recovery by an EMS Online participant just about one year ago. It’s a piece about the secret life and timely death of her husband’s cell phone.
In this post I am going to read what she wrote and then I am going to share some pro tips to help create safety surrounding cell phone use.
My husband purchased a new cell phone yesterday. The disdain I felt towards his old phone would be considered totally irrational if it wasn’t so relatable to those who have been betrayed. I could write a tragic novel personifying the life of his former phone.
It went on dates disguised as rounds...
Healing from betrayal trauma isn’t just about moving beyond triggers and reminders, it also requires changing how you see the world. Betrayed partners feel like life has been stolen from them and darkness is their only friend. Positive emotions such as joy and hope — even the feeling of being alive — can evaporate in the blink of an eye! Healing from this altered perception of life is hard and requires rewiring your brain. You must fight the negative messages that were imprinted by the betrayal trauma and replace them with truths. One approach to accomplish this goal to record and journal about the truths you discovery on your journey to healing. Focusing on these truths will help reset how you see the world.
Join other betrayed mates on the path...
Hi. My name's Karen Baker, and I'm the graduate counseling intern at Crossroad Counseling Associates, being supervised by Rick Reynolds. Experiencing betrayal trauma is incredibly jarring. Your whole system becomes dysregulated and flooded at a moment's notice. In this video, I'm going to lead you through a short, guided meditation to help you come back to the present moment and feel more grounded.
If you can't follow along now, bookmark this video to listen to later. So, take a moment to pause this video and adjust your space and find a comfortable position for you to relax in.
In a comfortable position, laying down or seated, I invite you to close your eyes. And imagine that you...
Hi, my name is Karen Baker. I’m the graduate counseling intern for Crossroad Counseling Associates, supervised by Rick Reynolds. In this video, I will teach you several different diaphragmatic breathing exercises that you can use to emotionally regulate and tone your Vagus Nerve.
Your breath is the first place to connect with your body, stay present, and become more grounded. To quickly recap a previous video, the autonomic nervous system has two parts: the parasympathetic and the sympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight, flight, and freeze response when something threatens us or we perceive it as threatening.
The parasympathetic nervous...
Hi. My name is Karen Baker, and I'm the graduate counseling intern for Crossroad Counseling Associates, being supervised by Rick Reynolds. Experiencing infertility is an incredibly jarring experience, and that's why we call it betrayal trauma. In a previous video, I discussed why and how we become dysregulated, as well as the importance of emotional regulation.
In this video, I'm going to lead you through a short guided meditation.
You can follow along now or bookmark this video to listen to it later.
So take a moment to pause this video if you need to, and adjust your space and find a comfortable position for you to relax.
And now I invite you to find a...
In this episode Rodney and Angela share the profound change they experienced following his D-Day on March 8th, 2014. Amidst the death of the old, a new marriage and new hearts emerged. They share how they navigated this journey with gratitude and grace. Through transparency and healing, they discovered the power of God's promise to restore and uplift.
Scripture became more than words on a page; it became their anchor, guiding and reminding them to fix their eyes on Jesus. Just as Peter was able to walk on water when he focused on Jesus, they held to that and became “Water Walkers”.
They encourage others facing their own versions of "D-Day" to turn to Christ for endurance and...
We define infidelity as the keeping of secrets; it's a breach of trust that can lead to the collapse of even the strongest relationships. Infidelity is a complex issue with many underlying causes, and it creates a cascade of inter- and intra-relational turmoil. The most common and difficult elements for the betrayed spouse to work through are any kind of lie and deception that the wayward partners tell themselves and their partner about their behavior.
In the context of romantic partnerships, infidelity is a tortuous and baffling problem to deal with. The act itself is generally seen as unethical and destructive, but the reasons and self-deceptions that led to it remain a convoluted mystery that take time and hard work to unravel. We need to look further into the psycho-emotional...
Hello, Kristin S. here. If you're watching this video, it means that you've experienced infidelity in some way in your life. You've either discovered that your partner has cheated on you, or maybe you have been unfaithful to your partner.
No matter which side of this equation that you're on, it's likely that you can appreciate how entirely lonely this time in your life is. You're caught in quite the pickle. Talking about the affair to other people potentially leaves you open for misunderstanding, judgment, criticism, unwanted opinions, and gossip. Keeping the affair to yourself represents its own challenge, leaving you in the horrendous cycle of ruminating thoughts.
Let me tell you how I...
“If I get pregnant, I’ll just have an abortion.” When asked if she was safe
Threatening to have me arrested for child abuse
Using kids’ social media accounts to contact and stalk men
Sleeping with a man she met two hours earlier on Facebook….. unprotected
Setting up dating apps while in the parking lot waiting for our therapy appointment
Wearing different clothes and hairstyles
Sneaking off to the bathroom to text APs while at Disneyland with the family
These and many others are examples of my wife’s behavior while still in her multiple affairs. It made me physically sick. I could not wrap my head around how my sweet, innocent, God-fearing wife had become the monster in front of me. I wanted to lash out at her. I wanted her to hurt as much as I was hurting. In fact, I wanted to see her in a...
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