Rick's Q & A Call on October 7, 2013

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RL_Media Type: 

physical affair with history of emotions and feelings.

My husband's AP was a friend from high school 25 years ago. They knew each other for a total of 2 years before going off to college. Then they reconnected at their 20th high school reunion. He has known her a total of 8 years and yet, we have been married for 18. He confessed he has always had feelings for her and fell in love with her. We are 6 months post disclosure (the 2nd disclosure) and he said something this week that really rocked me. When I asked him why he had the affair his answer was "we both thought if we could be together one time....then we would never do it again". Although they did meet again and continue to send emails and pictures when he was at work for 8 more months after first d day. When I asked him about what he told me when he confessed everything, that it was just a fantasy and it was really about issues within him, he said "well, that is what everyone says is the reason people have affairs, they must know why I did". I know you can not say how he is feeling but is this thinking normal? It scares me and I immediately felt unsafe, fearing a relapse. When I want to talk about it and ask the same questions that we have talked about in the past, he is now less patient and gets defensive and I end up feeling like I irritate him. I feel like all of a sudden he doesn't get it after months of getting it. What is happening?

What type of affair was it?

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