What happens with the unfaithful spouse that when I try to explain how I feel they get defensive and angry, even if it's feelings about something other than him or the infidelity itself?

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What happens with the unfaithful spouse that when I try to explain how I feel they get defensive and angry, even if it's feelings about something other than him or the infidelity itself?
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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas