Rick's Q & A Call on January 21
To Listen to this audio please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Just leave a comment below that includes any question you have about
Recovery
Infidelity
Relationships
Healthy marriages
Healthy thought habits
Healing from divorce
God
Pornography
Sexual Addiction
Anything else!
Then be sure to listen at noon on Monday or download the recording here on Tuesday.
To Listen to this audio, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.
Infidelity
susan1117
You didn't ask me personaly but when I saw your post I couldn't help myself. So sorry in advance if I offend you.
Rules of privacy for the BETRAYER:
I can shower and change my clothes with the door shut.
Everything else is an open book. My husband can get my phone anytime he wants and call weird numbers or check my emails. Put a GPS on my car for all I care. Why would he not? I lied and lied and he believed me for months. He would be stupid not to do do those things. Since I have nothing to hide I don't care.
"You are just Nosey". Really? Uh..No you are not stupid anymore because you have no reason to trust him. He can't even be honest with his AP for crying out loud! Seeing that text to his AP is the best thing you could have seen. He lies to everyone. He was offended because he is still lying. That's what we do in an affair.
At this point you can pull phone records hack into emails or whatever your heart desires. You should for your own safety. You need the truth and you certainly are not getting it from him. Married people don't hide anything from each other-affair or not!
Jana
A helpful nugget.....
One time I went to Yoga and we have to turn our phones off. I turned my phone on and had 7 messages from him and then the last one was. "Oh sorry I forgot you were at Yoga". He told me later that he tracked my iphone online. My first thought was-Good to know. I might need him to do that for me if I loose one of my kids at the mall or they don't come home on time. I wasn't offended I was happy that he knew I was doing what I said I was doing. It's not about me anymore. I lost his trust.
Jana
thank you
Intimacy & Triggers
Hi Rick,
Bob and I were at EMS in December, it was the best thing we ever did! Seeing a specialist like you and your staff really gave us some tools and clarity to a painful path we are walking on and knowing we are not alone. We have had our ups and downs...We happen to be in a down mode right now. It has been almost 6 months since D-Day and we have been meeting on our weekly conference calls with our group. Since last week, Bob has been having a difficult time with being in this dark place regarding sexual intimacy and can not stop playing the nightmare in his head of me and my AP, constantly. He has completely disconnected and needs distance from me. We discussed it at our meeting last night, but it still is an area that I'm sure that will take a long time to work through. It is painful to see him struggling and it does create anger and things said that are destructive and not constructive in any way.
I did read your newsletter today regarding pain and the stages, it is our choice to remain there or find a way to work through that pain.
We were close, intimate and making progress, not to say that it has not been difficult and the triggers are there....but I am just asking if there is something that we can do to help with this struggle Bob and I are having.
And thanks for Lesson 3 on the EMS lesson ...it was a very painful letter to write again, but it was good to hear the letter from him and I hope and pray Bob can let the words penitrate in his heart from me for the pain I have caused him.
Look forward to hearing from you....
Kind regards,
Dante' and Bob