Q&A How Can Anyone Justify Abandoning the Kids?

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Question: 

After reinventing a 20 year marriage, my husband walked away from the family. He abandoned me as his wife and his 5 kids emotionally, physically, and financially. He has justified the abandonment to himself, to me, and his family by sharing events in our life that have never happened. Things like; I beat him up and broke his ribs, I gave him black eyes, I stopped him from going to church, and trained the kids to hate him. He has convinced his family that the kids and I have ruined his life. My first reaction was to think that mental illness is involved. There is nothing else that can explain such drastic change. He went from being a great dad to someone that has not seen, talked to, or supported his kids. He has been gone for 14 months and has blamed me for everything from his porn addiction to his lack of relationship with God. 13 months after he left, he confessed over text that he has lived a double life and has been having sex with prostitutes through our 21 year marriage. He told me that nothing he did was my fault and I am not responsible for his actions. It only took 2 days for him to go back to saying everything is my fault and if it wasn’t for me he would have never done it. My pain is greater than I can ever explain; he has left me to bleed by myself over and over again while having to raise 5 kids. I suffer even more knowing that he has no problem with choosing himself before the kids. He has been gone for 14 months, moved states, and has not contacted the kids yet.

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