Q&A How Common Is It for Financial Devastation to Accompany Infidelity?

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About a year ago my husband unexpectedly left our marriage to pursue a secret affair. When he left, he cashed out all of his retirement and used most of that to pay off our household debt except for the mortgage. He used what was left over to live on for the better part of a year as he was unemployed during his affair. He also racked up new credit card debt during this time. About 8 months ago he came out of his fog and confessed to the affair. We have been working on recovery together ever since. He has switched to a more stable although less lucrative career and is struggling right now just to get by every month. We are still living separately for now which adds to the expense. He says he is willing to do whatever it takes to get his financial situation back on track so that I will feel financially safe moving forward. I want to believe this is possible, but another part of me is scared of reconciling with him if it means we will have to struggle and toil to get him to a place of financial stability again so that he can eventually retire. Right now I am financially protected because of our PSA. He is 50 years old, so it is starting to feel like time is running out for him to right this ship. Is this kind of financial disaster typical for a person who has gone through a mid-life/marital crisis? Have you seen examples of people being able to work through this sort of thing and have success stories on the other side?



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