Video Restricted to Recovery Library members. Question Hi John and Leslie, In the Harboring Hope course book it says, "Controlling where previously unfaithful spouses go, what they do, and who they are with is quite different than giving them the responsibility to keep themselves safe for you. Ultimately, they are either committed to the marriage and the recovery or they are not." It also has a quote by Shirley Glass, "Your unfaithful spouse needs to affair-proof themselves for you." Th…