Q&A What Can I Do to Help Him Truly Get It?

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Question: 

My husband revealed to me in February of last year that he was unfaithful for over 7 years. He was in multiple sexual relationships, and flirted with and texted more. My heart broke, one of the women said she was pregnant. Later I learned from her co-worker that she was not pregnant. Either she miscarried, aborted, or lied altogether. We will never truly know. We went to a crisis counseling center. My husband went for a week alone. I went for a week with him and alone. So he had 2 weeks to do nothing but get Godly counsel and rest. It was three months after the first D-Day when I discovered he had not revealed the whole truth. There was evidence that he had affairs with an ex-girlfriend, and more. He came undone....I forgave him again. Then in September of the SAME year, I discovered a text of him inviting a woman to have a drink with him in his hotel room. I was undone, and so was he. Just shocked, each time he apologized and wept, this time he told me it was not sexual. I am having a REAL hard time trusting him, he has reconnected with the Lord, and there is some evidence He is changing, but he still cannot handle even the calm questions I ask him, or the days when I am down...He saw a counselor for six months on and off, and feels he is "better" past is out and he is free. But I am not free. If it were not for my kids, I think I would be done. Trust and integrity and loyalty is crucial...God is Faithful. So I hold on. I have laid boundaries out with him, but he is in a comfort zone. And I just don't know if I can trust him. What can I do to help him truly get what this trickle reveal is doing to me? HE also goes silent and, I feel manipulates me thru that action, because our kids notice he has "checked out".

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