Q&A Can You Suggest Some Exercises to Help with Honesty after Betrayal?


I'm the betrayed spouse. We are about three months out from discovery, and while we have been making a lot of progress, one thing that my mate is still struggling with is transparency and active truth-telling. By this I mean transparency about whether she sees a man she is attracted to, about feelings regarding our relationship, and about her own emotions. She has kept her emotions to herself for her whole life, so I understand that honesty and transparency about her feelings does not come naturally to her. She has gotten better at telling the truth when I ask her questions directly. She doesn't impulsively lie anymore, and when she does, she admits it and apologizes immediately. However, she isn't very good at coming to me with information without me having to ask. She says that she doesn't really know why she doesn't openly share things with me and I can tell that it upsets her that she can't do it. Because the affairs happened due to her hiding her dissatisfaction with our relationship and her attraction to other people from me, I am concerned with her continued struggle with active truth telling. Do you have any exercises or recommendations that would help us to have a more transparent relationship, and help her to be the honest person she wants to be? Thank you so much for your help.



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