Q&A Has Sexual Imprinting Led to My Affair?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My wife and I dwell on the "Why" I was unfaithful four times during our 38 years of marriage. I was previously married. My first marriage of 7 years was my first sexual experience and unhealthy. Sex occurred every 4 - 5 months. My sexual advances were unwanted and I was left feeling inadequate and frustrated. My first affair was 5 years into that marriage with a married women who expressed desire to me. That sexual experience was enlightening and changed my opinion of sex. It felt good and correct. There was desire, passion and a feeling of being wanted. After my first marriage ended I met my current wife. Sex was good between us but the first opportunity, where another women aggressively showed desire and physically offered herself to me, I did not say no and began my first of four additional affairs. All 4 were with women who made known their desires with no reservations. The affairs were infrequent sex acts over a period of year or so. No intimacy, passion or affection and I never thought to say no. The experiences did eventually lose appeal and end but with very little quilt or shame. Once discovered I find my actions horrible and terribly confusing. I hate myself. Did my experience with my first wife create some kind of sexual imprint causing me an inability to see the wrongness of my actions or to say no?



RL_Media Type: 

Try to explore communication between parents

To add to what Wayne said- about relation with mother, I have been to two therapists, and both
asked to describe your parents- both father and mother and what was their attitude towards you.

Answering this question led me to Modeling issues, and how consciously and subconciously
we tend to model the behaviors and communication patterns of parents.

This helped me make a list of behaviors, emotions, situations which can be taking
me down a slippery slope, even if I am not acting out. ..26-3-20

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas