Dear writer,

I just wanted to comment and tell you I love your question. Rick I agree with your answer.

After D-day my husband and I sat down with a trusted pastor and her husband. Although they did their best to be supportive since they had never had the experience their advise missed the mark. We then went to 2 different "Christian" counselors. Both of which told me (the betrayed) spouse that the answer was to discover what was missing in the marriage that caused my husband to cheat. Thankfully after a few sessions I quickly realized they were missing the mark. I refuse to take any responsibility for my husband's affairs. Finally we found a counselor that had a better plan. He actually told us that he had couples in the past that had used affair recovery. He suggested we do the same and see him at the same time.

i have since gone back to that pastor and told her if and when anyone discloses the devastation of an affair to you please give them my number.

The church as a whole (just my personal opinion) is to uncomfortable in discussing such matters and is very ill-equipped to do so, however if we (couples that have survived affairs) are willing to be honest and come out of hiding about our struggles partner with our church we can change that. It is funny how in the church we will celebrate the alcoholic that got clean but no one wants to celebrate or even talk about the sex addict that got redeemed or the marriage that survived adultery.
Thank you Rick and affair recovery for the work that you do.

I really hope this is chosen as the video of the month.