Expert Q&A Preview: How Can My Husband Overcome His Ambivalence?

Question: 

My husband and I have been married for 21 years and separated for 3 of those years. We both have had individual counseling but no help together really. I am currently taking the Harboring Hope course for my own healing. He has continued to see his AP off and on over the separation. He says he's not in love with her, but does have feelings. He tells me doesn't want to get a divorce, but is afraid of becoming unhappy after the kids are gone. He says he enjoys our family time. He also says he doesn't like to think of me being with someone else and possibly not getting to have those times ever again. The ambivalence is hard on both of us. I recently told him if we are going to stay married we need to get expert help together. I feel we are robbing our children of a family they deserve and ourselves of a marriage we deserve. We are living in limbo. Can you give either of us advice on how to get out of this place that we are stuck in?

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