Q&A How Can We Further Our Sexual Healing?

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Question: 

Hi Rick. - I am the betrayed spouse of a sex addict who used prostitutes, porn and masturbation for 28 years of our 37 year marriage. We had 2 D-days, first when I found emails from prostitutes, which he said were just "dates," and then the second, a year ago, when I found out the truth of 28 yrs of him seeing prostitutes, etc. We are doing well in our recovery - he is a new man and husband which has helped a lot. I have had EMDR. We did 2 EMS weekends - one after each D-day. I am having trouble relating physically and sexually with him. I feel he had so much sex and so many women, I don't feel that our sex could be special to him. He has many memories and feelings attached to sexual pleasure it feels like there is no way our sex could mean much to him. I have looked at the Penner & Penner book you have recommended, but it is difficult for me to do those exercises with my husband, as I feel he did so much touching with the prostitutes, I can't see the exercises being meaningful or unique to us. Do you have any suggestions for me to be able to be close and sexual with my husband? EMDR has helped with the intrusive thoughts, but maybe I need more EMDR? And/ or do you think a weekend seminar/workshop on intimacy would be helpful? I feel desperate. Thank you so much for any insights and help.

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What is EMDR and 'attachment'

What is EMDR and 'attachment' exercises?

What type of affair was it?

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