Q&A How Do I Answer the Questions I Don't Remember?

Submitted by Rick_Reynolds Wed, 09/14/2016 - 11:20

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Question: 

Hi Rick, My wife and I are struggling with the recovery process from the destruction of my affair. She keeps pressuring me to answer questions that she has about it. The only problem with that is, I can't remember the details of the affair that she is looking for, or be absolutely certain about giving a definitive yes or no answer if something happened or not. I'm in individual and sexual addiction counseling. She is also about to start therapy and we are in marriage counseling. The affair happened over a year ago and lasted for several months. An example of a question she has is "when did it end?" I can't even remember what month it ended. We are currently 5 months from discovery. How can I find the answers to these questions and remember the details? Thank you for your help.

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He did fail to mention that,

Submitted by [name hidden] on

He did fail to mention that, the biggest reason I need the answer to this question is because he failed the question on his polygraph, "Did you have sexual contact with ****** after finding out your wife was pregnant?". He answered no and he failed.

1. He had promised, even swore on our son's life (which was an evil thing to do), prior to the polygraph, that it ended before we found out that I was pregnant.

When he failed, this is what the Polygrapher said to me through email, "The question did not have a date. It was simply before or after he told you. If he knew for certain, he would not have had such a reaction. In addition, he told me that he just wasn't absolutely sure if it was before or right after. That would be a good reason he would have had such a reaction. I would suggest running him through a single issue polygraph on that topic."

2. The month is important because his AP had twins, 3 days after we had our son. Timing is everything, don't you think?

What type of affair was it?

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas