Q&A How Do I Commit to This Marriage When I Promised Myself I’d Never Stay with Someone Who Cheated On Me?

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It's been six months since I discovered my husband's affair. We still live together but we sleep in separate rooms. I am struggling with being able to offer him physical touch as I am trying to work through the trauma of the affair and childhood trauma from helping my mom deal with my father's multiple affairs. I promised myself I'd never stay with someone who cheated on me since I saw the devastation it caused my mom, yet now I’m trying to figure out if I can make things work with my own unfaithful husband. It's difficult for me, but I’m trying to forge a new sense of self. I just don’t know what to do about my husband's depression about our situation. He says he is empathetic towards me and what I'm going through, but he gets depressed and tells me that we aren't progressing fast enough, and that his needs aren’t being met. We do dates once a week, couples and individual counseling, and EMSO (week 5), but he wants physical touch. I don't know what to do and honestly when he is depressed and sunk into his feelings about not getting his needs met it makes me want to retreat. It makes me feel like he doesn't care about my own struggles enough to be empathic and patient. He is trying, but I don’t feel that I can be emotionally intimate with him without him becoming more down. What should I do?



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