Q&A How Do I Persevere through the Anger and Break the Stalemate?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


I’m the unfaithful. It’s been 11 months since D-Day from a 6 week affair. I want nothing more than to repair the rift between my wife and I and to achieve this better life and marriage you talk about; but I’m losing hope. We did EMSO right after discovery, cycled through 3 counselors and still spiraled downward until she demanded we separate at month 8. Her anger toward me only increased with every “recovery” effort I made. We’re back in the same house again, but “only for our daughter” according to my wife. We’re roommates, and she avoids any interaction with me whenever our daughter is not around. We haven’t touched since 2 days after D-Day and she still barely looks at me. I’ve done individual counseling and have worked hard to find the better me after all of this. I’m grateful for the help I’ve gotten for my own issues, but it hurts to watch her refuse to get any help of her own and knowing I caused this. My question is how long do I persevere through daily hatred and avoidance and how do I break the stalemate? I know deep in my heart this only being together for our daughter as my wife wants isn’t a sustainable or healthy way to live- no matter how much I wish it was for our daughters sake. How do I convince her that you’re telling the truth, that recovery is possible?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas