My spouse's infidelity began as a purposeful act of revenge, but he still hotly denies that he was trying to hurt me. What's the best way for us to heal? We're nearly finished with the EMSO course. He understands the pain I've experienced and is doing everything humanly possible to make amends--but he still plays this off as some kind of accident. Does it matter that he lashed out in anger? We're making great progress and have intense love at times after 29 years of marriage! Our story: Just before the infidelity began, a single friend talked about all the hot sex he got through online dating. The next week, my husband wanted to talk about our relationship, though he never mentioned sex! He was depressed back then and, in earlier years, he dealt with bad moods by being hypersexual with me and/or drinking. I reminded him of that unhealthy pattern, which hurt his feelings. He then joined OKCupid and started 3 years of infidelity with at least 3 women. Shortly after D-day, I also found a hard-drive full of intense porn. Thanks for your thoughts!