Q&A Why I Am the One That Needs Reassurance and Not My Wayward Spouse?

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It has been 4 months since discovery. I find myself still needing reassurance from my husband that he is still committed to our recovery and that he is being faithful. Then it hit me, why am I the one needing reassurance? He's the one that messed up and had an 18 year online affair with his ex-girlfriend from high school. He's the one that is at risk of losing me, our family, our life, etc... But I find myself the one that is insecure and fearful of the future. What is up with that? I feel pathetic even thinking about it. We are doing EMS Online and he is making progress but I'm baffled by how secure he can feel about our situation. It could stem from the fact that I am a very loyal person and don't want our kids to live in a broken family. Maybe he knows that so he isn't afraid I'll leave....I don’t understand why he seems so secure with our situation while I am insecure.



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