My husband and I completed EMS Online 9 months ago, the EMS Weekend in June, and we are currently doing Married for Life. My husband is also mentoring both a Harboring Hope and an EMS Online group. I am in week 3 of Hope for Healing. My affair happened 30 years ago, but we never healed or processed correctly until we started EMS Online in January. I feel like I am beginning to understand and empathize with the pain I caused. I have also done a lot of work on my shame. But I still mess up once in a while and do or say something that makes him feel rejected and he says it takes him back to the night I left him to have sex with the affair partner. He then reminds me that I don't get the pain he feels. This makes me feel like I have failed yet again. Will I ever fully understand and feel his pain? Will this cycle ever end?