Wow

Love it. Well said. I'm the betrayed, but like you finished. I too have so many things I've done that need this type sorry. Brilliant!

HURT Video sooner please

IMO, it could go a looong way to start the healing process if this video was shared with the unfaithful very early in the Hope For Healing course taken by the unfaithful. My husband does auto-reply with, “I was wrong” but his response stops there. Gee I wish he’d add on the rest of this process before it’s too late for us.

Rushing Forgiveness

I’m working as hard as I can just to stay afloat. Please tell the unfaithful not to rush forgiveness. I’ve committed to forgiveness yet my husband keeps bringing it up. He doesn’t have enough concern for me to give me the time I need.

I would also add

I would also add that the words must come from within. I am only about six weeks from D Day. My wife is telling me that she plans to sign up for the next Hope for Healing session. So I imagine that I may at some point receive a letter like what is described. However, it will likely feel like one of the 'motions' that she is going through. She keeps saying words without meaning. She keeps asking 'what can I say to make it better?'. In short, nothing. Because she appears to be searching for a magic phrase to make this all go away. I believe that if I do receive such a letter from her that it will include the language lifted directly from the video or text where she hears about the letter. The problem is that I am also doing a lot of reading right now. I may recognize the words that she will use and it will feel just like one more 'going through the motions' thing and will still not be from the heart.

I agree that it would be nice to hear these things and that it could help with starting the reconciliation process, but only if it is her words. Plagiarizing will not mean anything to me. I don't want to hear the words. I want to hear what is behind the words that she chooses. She used her words to lie to me for months. Her words now have no meaning. So it's not about the words. It is about the meaning and if she can not choose her own words, then I would rather hear the nothing that she is saying now. I get the whole fake feeling of the words 'I'm sorry'. My wife says that from time to time. But she also actually admitted to me that she was just sorry that she got caught and that she would not have ended the affair if I had not caught her. So I would like to hear true remorse in her own words.

I would also suggest that the R could also be for 'responsibility'. As in 'take some'. I wish she would stop trying to justify her behavior by blaming me.

What type of affair was it?

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