Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

Recovering from Infidelity: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Unfaithful

Recovering from Infidelity: Difficulties with Intimacy
A 3 Part Series

Part 1: Difficulties with Intimacy
Part 2: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Betrayed
Part 3: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Unfaithful

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For the couple who is trying to heal from infidelity, the marriage bed can seem like an untouchable desert full of confusion, despair, and uncertainty. The unfaithful spouse can find him or herself guilt-ridden, almost paralyzed by shame and self-hatred, wondering if they should even try to initiate sexual intimacy with their significant other. For several decades, I've walked alongside unfaithful spouses who try to do this right, and I've observed that it often feels chaotic and like they're taking one step forward two steps back.

It doesn't have to be this way. There is a way through, and there are proven steps the unfaithful spouse can take to not only help heal the marriage bed, but also—believe it or not—help make the entire process safer for both spouses. But where do you turn and who do you trust?

Today, you'll hear from my close friends and infidelity recovery experts Dr. John Haney, PhD, LPC and Wayne Baker, LPC, CSAT—both of whom help lead our monthly EMS Weekend intensives and also run their own private practices, specializing in healing after an affair, betrayal trauma, and sexual addiction. Not only are they safe resources for reengaging physically with your partner, but they are personal survivors of this level of trauma. They know what works, and they certainly know what doesn't work.

If you're an unfaithful spouse, I hope and pray you'll take their suggestions to heart today and not only implement their resources, but make them a priority in your own recovery. I'm sure you've realized by now, both unfaithful and betrayed alike, no one can do this for you. Our own repair work is essential, but when your significant other is willing and able to do their own work and reengage with you on an expert level, it gets easier. It gets better. And it no longer seems impossible.

If you're ready to start the journey of finding freedom and forgiveness, I hope you'll consider registering for EMS Weekend. This 3 day intensive is a safe place for you both to learn, grow and heal.
Our 3-day weekend intensive for couples to heal after infidelity now offering $1,000 discount for virtual months during the pandemic. Limited availability.

Sign Up Now!



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Feeling safe for the unfaithful??

What about the unfaithful feeling safe? Feeling human? Feeling validated?? Do we no longer matter because no matter the circumstances we are the bad guy? What about the pain we feel, what about feeling safe that the betrayed will not gaslight our emotions, blame shift or betray as well? There are some of us who carry the heavy weight of our sons daily, we can't function, we want to die. Then there is the betrayed who continues down a road of destruction... Gas lighting, blame shift to cover their own sins. How can one feel safe when you can't communicate, when you are forever the bad guy?

This Needs To Be Addressed

Very disappointed that this has not been addressed in AR videos. This is a serious topic and common to many.

What type of affair was it?

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