Q&A Am I Crazy to Even Think There Is a Chance for Us?

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My first D-Day was 4 months ago. I found out that my husband of 27 years has been cheating nearly all or all of our marriage with massage parlors, prostitutes, strip clubs, fantasies with coworkers, etc. There have been 6 disclosures and I still do not know everything. He says he loves me, that he has always loved me and wants to save our marriage. During the last 4 months he has had many opportunities to show me that he chooses me. Choose me over keeping secrets, choose me by stopping the staggered disclosure, choose me over the fantasies, choose me by being honest etc. he has failed to choose me every single time. He says he wants to choose me but can’t because he is not healthy. I have a hard time buying that. He is clearly a master manipulator and liar to be able to keep this secret for nearly 3 decades. Since D-Day I have realized there has been so much gaslighting, controlling, mental, emotional, spiritual, and emotional abuse over the years. I understand that afternoon decades of cheating, deception, and living a double life his brain is unhealthy. I also feel that he could fight the unhealthy brain if he truly wanted to and choose me/our marriage in at least one circumstance to show me he is trying. Am I crazy to even think there is a chance for us? Will I ever not see him as a horrible monster? How can he really love me and our family if he has been betraying us this long? Do my children and I even know who he really is?



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