Q&A How Can I Stop the Feeling That I Constantly Need to Check on My Wayward Spouse for Safety?

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I have seen your videos about not chasing my wayward spouse and I feel this is what I need to do. My husband had a year-long affair and had sexual contact with his ex-fiancé. They both met out of town for a day, while I thought he was at work. I discovered my husband was living a double life. D-day was April 2020. We have been married almost 2 years. I feel that I am always chasing after my husband by FaceTiming him at work because I start flooding if I don’t hear from him when he’s away from me. We are both committed to restoring the marriage however I am the only one actually in an official program, Harboring Hope. I do see great effort in him being more transparent by showing me his texts and phone calls that come in. However, part of me panics when I see that he’s on Facebook and the affair partner is on at the same time. This usually happens during work hours when we are not together. They are no longer friends on Facebook and he assures me that they no longer have contact. How can I stop feeling the need to contact him at work or check Facebook at the same time? I know it seems like a simple question with a simple answer…just stop doing it. I feel he is beginning to see me as clingy and needy. What is the worst that can happen if I continue chasing him? I want him to chase me.



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