Q&A How Do I Make the Hard Decision to Stay or Move on after All These Years?

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Question: 

Yesterday I found a notebook my wife keeps. There were three men’s initials written in the notebook and I recognize two of them. Many times throughout the past year, I have asked her if there was anyone else and she said absolutely not. I also found a list of pros and cons she listened, to stay or go! When I asked her where her head was as far as staying together, she responded, 78%. Even last night as we got in bed, she wondered how much Harboring Hope discussed my responsibility in our situation. My response was, "not much, because to the choice to cheat was hers alone"! That tells me, after a year, she still doesn't accept 100% of her responsibility to cheat but still blames me for her choices! I believe I've been patient and have done hard work trying to save our marriage but may have had false hope that she would get help from an Affair Recovery specialist. Hard decision to stay or move on after all these years, what to do?

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