Q&A How Do I Overcome This Overwhelming Trigger?

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I believe I heard yesterday on one of your videos that having triggers often in a day after a year is not along with the recovery time line. I also read today, in finishing up the first steps boot camp, that comparison questions leave lasting images and triggers. I’ve addressed a trigger I experience from seeing women that fit the one descriptive characteristic my husband gave me of his affair partner, both in EMDR, as well as with our marriage therapist with no helpful resolution. It’s been about 15 months since D-Day. All other triggers are, and have been, significantly less often for quite some time. But this one comparison trigger is still very frequent. What are your thoughts about this comparison trigger still being very present past the one year mark? I want to add that yesterday, and today, I used the LIFE method you suggested to deal with triggers and I’m feeling a difference already. I’m hopeful this approach will help take the power away from this comparison trigger in a lasting way. I’m also relieved because I’ve wanted someone to understand that this trigger had a hold on me differently than any other trigger I’ve experienced.



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I am also dealing with

I am also dealing with triggers of comparisons. I was unfortunate enough to have discovered the truth of his affair by seeing a personalized naked video of his affair partner that she sent him and another of her singing a song to him. She was a tanned pretty, long haired blond with voluptuous ta-tas. I also saw the video songs he sent to her - mostly about how beautiful he thought she was, and having loving feelings for her. I have explained to him about how hurtful it is to me knowing he told her she was beautiful many times, and when I get dressed up and made up, you look nice is the best he can say to me. What is the LIFE process you talk about in this video? I really need the triggers to stop! It's been 8 months and I want better than "nice".

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