Q&A How Do You Know When You're Done?

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Question: 

My husband is still living at home and says he is working on getting himself straight, but we've been together for decades and infidelity has been part of that (on his part) since the beginning. There have been other counselors, other attempts at individual therapy, other D-days, and I'm just not willing to put myself out there anymore to be destroyed. His betrayals ran deeper and deeper and this last one is almost ridiculous in its scope and too hard to believe is true. He divulged personal, private medical and personal details about me and the kids to his AP, even medical things, educational matters, and kept her apprised even of my doctor appointments and test results. It continued even after I discovered their affair three years ago, which destroyed me. He considers the months in-between when they weren't "meeting" his being faithful, but I know that's not true - he gas lit me, redirected any questions or lied altogether, and protected the AP and himself every time. And this most recent discovery that they've been together, even going so far as to give her a ring (which she sent me a malicious email to tell me about, because kicking someone when they're already down just added to my humiliation). I'm enrolled in the Harboring Hope course and started the Bootcamp on my own, but I abandoned it partway through because it was just too painful to even answer the questions or do the reading about "couples" matters.

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Be strong

You must be really sad to hear this. Know that you are not are not alone in your recovery. Others are stuggling along side you, and if we try hard enough and are true to ourselves, we will overcome the pain and find better lives.